sideway

Make me a cigarette

of broken bone and stolen light,

of scattered sand and distant sight

where trace of every other race

could tell me story through the space.

What would fit is infinite

and i'm riding on the side

in the darkness of her eyes

knowing she could be illusion

making everything to stop.

-But the earth could never stop

and king is threaten by the pawn

in cold and frosty winter dawn

where too many eyes was broken

watching story of the night.

Reviews

[en skygge]

Really narrative and easy to read. I loved the metaphors. Btw your name isus is croatian/serbian (etc) for jesus right?

[isus]

thanx on reading. you're right :)

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a sad tale. Love the last stanza the most

[isus]

thank you on reading :)

[Poetic Beauty]

You are welcome

[C. Rose]

favorite lines: too many eyes was broken, make me a cigarette of broken bone and stolen light

[Paul Jerome]

small yet epic. smooth flow and transition from one verse to other.

[isus]

glad you like it

[Catherine Frain]

This is very neat. Creative.

[isus]

thank you :)

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Very unique and creatively written. Great wording and feeling given. A very nice piece!

[isus]

thanx, its always good to be recognized by someone :)

[Rita L. Sev]

The flow of this piece is wonderful, and your wording is brilliant. There is a cold darkness here, very much a poem that is felt upon reading. Well penned, Isus.

[isus]

lots of kind words there! thank you, im glad you like it :)

[Tiffany Boles]

Your words in this were captivating and creative. I liked it. Nice write.

[isus]

thank you, very glad you like it :)

[TL Boehm]

broken bone and stolen light, scattered sand and distant sight. Such a beautiful lonely poem this is.

[isus]

i would like to paint it on a canvas :D but i dont really know how to do it right now i think

[SyberRose]

Very creative and nicely dark...Rose

[isus]

thank you :D