Many Ten Years

Ten years and i couldn't forget
I made every possible mistake
To make you leave and you left
Ever since my feelings are just regret

I made you cry to send you away
Then I wanted you back the next day
I was a fool I wanted to play
In the ugliest firendzone wanted you to stay

But you were to me more
You were to my ship the shore
You were the gardens of heaven
You were the life i was afraid to explore

Ten years ago and feels like yesterday
How many ten years left
How many ten years I need
To get over you to go on my way

I guess it is not about the age
I wanted to run free
But ended up in a cage
Of shame, regret and rage

To forgive me i will never be able
And i will never ask you to do so
I just wish i could forgive you
Because you were the Saint
And i was not even stable

I wish you had insisted
Even more when i resistrd
I wish you hadn't give up
And punched me on the face
To wake up

No, im glad you kept your dignity
And i wish that you have a better destiny
For you i wish you joy and grace
I may never wish you but brigt days

But it has been ten years
And i couldn't forget
Feels like yesterday
And for you i long and regret

Reviews

[Rhayne]

I do hope that somehow, some way, she gets to read this. Ten years is a long time. I was married to my first husband for ten years and then he just decided one day that he didn't love me and our marriage was a mistake and he left. That was August 3, 1985. And the irony is I still love him. He remarried twice and is still with his third wife. She has been good for him. She saved him from himself and alcohol and drugs. I'm grateful to her for that. She and I have become friends over the years. All that tie me to my ex now are our three children and seven grandchildren. I know we will never be again and I'm okay with that. Sometimes letting go when you know they are in a good place in their life is also better for you. All I ever wanted was to make him happy. I gave it my all. Sometimes a person's all still isn't enough and sometimes it can be too much. Apparently, she makes him happy. She and I are complete opposites. She's aggressive, demanding, chastising and apparently, he likes that. I'm not any of those things and a specialists once told me that sometimes being loving, caring and giving can be intimidating to one who isn't used to it. He grew up with an abusive father.
I'm so sorry for your pain of missing her. I know that pain all too well. My ex-husband was not my first love, but he was what I call my true love. I've never loved anyone like I did him. Surely there will be someone to come along and turn your head and heal your heart. This poem is powerful and sadly beautiful. Riddled with pain and regret that mirrors your heart. A sad but powerful piece.