Ghost girl

As i wonder through the hall's of this place

As i traverse the trappings of my mind

Surrounding myself with a crowd of laughing children

Drowning in their ignorance

I spy a soul which has caught my attention

A soul which doesn't seem kind

A soul which doesn't seem to invite many to be among her

She crossed my pat once more as i became lost

She glanced over quickly, slightly

Then she disappeared as suddenly as she appeared

Like a ghost hiding within the bowels of its haunt

She speaks not a word, her face set like concrete

Her eyes telling and her soul barren of familiar sense

I wonder what could have created a creature such as this

I wonder what she has seen

I wonder what her consciousness leads her to believe

Perceive, receive as a mold for the thing around her

Her life 

Reviews

[songstress]

Interesting piece, you know how to sett the tone via the repetition of words. That being the first stanza's use of As, and A soul. I like how even though you use the same introductory words, you initiate emphasis by a slight variation to the sentence. It provides a good transition. When you speak of being isolated within a crowd,I applaud you for the separation of yourself with the negative connotation of ignorance, but also for the stark contrast between you and the ghost. when you pay attention to the direction she is moving, to your curiosity to her origin you create a further void in yourself. You found yourself at first detached, but seeing someone fictional, you highlight in a sense an otherworldly space. You have nowhere to go, and there is something much bigger than yourself out there is what I feel like I am seeing. well done. the only problem I see is the punctuation and grammar.