Confessions and realization from the coreA Poem by isiah_holmesStirring through twisted and cruel memories Thoughts, images, pictures, all at my disposal "Thought!" Your mind i claim as my trophy Your consciousness, that now belongs to me Now let me feed you dragons scales Let me set you free, im free Recalling children who laugh and play Listen to what their mothers say I have become attached to the day This day i will obey, listen to what she'll say! Hateful women mock my troubled birth My hands and feet melt into the earth Hateful women leave me alone Alone in this cove, this cove made of stone! My father taught me to laugh and play In this way i will obey Manly men mock my frail hand's They mock my frail hands, I don't understand! My sickly tired voice My drowned out boy-voice I don't know what is truly, truly my choice I need someone to comfort me To set me free from this thing in me! Enough! Enough forced rhyme schemes meant to entertain Enough with this filtered language Enough with this ache in my brain My brain, my brain, maintaining my delusion My, my, my, my, mine! This is mine! This will forever belong to the sparrow! In sorrow i will wait now Predators stalking prey Stalking prey resembling young girls They're vulnetable to say the least I don't know how to save them Protect them Warn them Sacrifice them to this angry beast Let me be honest, let me be frank As i reach between my mind and your own As i call to the powers of the shaman As i invoke this thing Morrison breathed into me As i claw for a chance A chance A chance Stop! Look! Look! My chance is finally here Its so close, its soft kind embrace i can sense I want that! I want that! But i cant have that, this thing blocked by a layer of glass Can i burn it? My fire has turned to snow May i shoot it? I can not hope to know I need it gone! Begone foul abrasion You blister, you mole, deformity of the flesh Begone from my life, begone from this already tortured Reality Leave me, a poor victim, alone! Leave me alone Leave me alone Leave me alone Leave me alone Who ever said they have always known? You naive, you bigot, your ignorant to this This..This thing..I'm..Me..This thing.. This monster, this unnatural formation of ruling desire Why!? Why cant i vomit up this barrier like disease A fragment of plague This thing that makes me feel like plague This thing attached to my back Like a turtle waiting for the foxes attack! Calling to the shaman, once more, calling to the bonfire Calling my memories, locked in peace and fun Rotten jungles, locked in peace and fun Girls, victims of their own bodies locked in peace and fun Boys hunting for their claws, seeking entry into another person Peace and fun! Im stunned to learn of imagination To learn of invention To realize creation as a concept, as a machine Look at what i have created Look at what i have created Look at how this fated boy drifts past unwilling Unwilling to leave this cycle This endless drive to nowhere This car ride to the end of the city This ride to and from teenage play Scavenging through vegetation Searching for a sign of the green leaf The one which has enslaved the undeserving The one which has healed what's left What remains of the mind of a schizophrenic Which gave feeling to a sociopath Which cured the alcoholics of his suffering Which allowed the cancer victim comfort as they died We search for this forbidden thing This thing, i've lost myself within this journey This journey from one end of a city to another This journey from and to one of my dearest friends A friend which can not talk a friend which can not see or touch or hear Yet it would appear it feasts on the dark clouds within my mind It devours my own aliment as needed My mother seems defeated, maybe that's why she left My mother, my mother, my mother, my mother, my mother Still i sit here, still i sit there without much solace What i have fed to my page What i have refused to detach from my heart My core, my mind, my body Still im wounded, an animal in the forest A young beast shot in the leg by a careless hunter A young creature aching for food Aching for love Aching for what i was told i could do without What they made me survive without As a child What they taught me As a child The world they fed me As a child As a man, i can only hope to free myself from this Free myself from the treasures my mother finds The treasures hidden within the photos of a smiling Grinning Frowning Sad little boy, the result of a broken family Left alone in a hollow home Left alone Left alone Left alone Left alone Left alone, look to your friends, look to your friends Look to them to decide who you are Refuse what your kin have fed you It may only harm you Destroy you Kill you, scoop out your soul and humanity when you realize it was only a vision A lie they called a vision A lie they called a vision A lie they insisted was who you are Who you were Who you will forever continue to become © 2014 isiah_holmes |
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Added on February 27, 2014 Last Updated on February 27, 2014 Author
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