3AM Dream walk

 

Remember, my new friend

The blue lit summer nights at 3

Find no end, no way to spend

Our nights together in blissful harmony

 

The airs cool and flows

As we walk down the middle of an empty concrete road

My dear friend please know

With you, this night walk isnt so cold

 

Wannabe lovers

Sociopathology run for cover

For you make me feel some emotion

Only some, but it is enough to get my heart in motion

 

To heal

To feel

My pain you will steal

But none of this is even real

Its all in my head, all in my mind

Its so dark in there that its difficult to find

A part of me thats legitimately kind

But you dont care

After all, your the only thing in my life thats fair

And i do dare

To continue to walk barefoot down the smooth road

And if your with me still

My agony, i will finially be able to kill

Reviews

[Samuel Pennell]

Isiah-

I really do love this poem. I love how you write about empty streets at night, that is such a feeling. And wandering around them with a girl? What an experience. You've really done something here, because I don't usually gravitate towards rhymed poems, but I really like your rhythm and meter and rhyme scheme. When you said

To heal
To feel

that was such a great break. It chopped up the rhythm, and was so meaningful. Perfect. You have this great way of rhyming that doesn't come off as boring and old, but is conversational, and believable. The rhyming keeps the energy up, and is very easy to read. Definitely stick with it!

Your poems seem to be in the same vein as a rock band that I really love, called The Story So Far. They talk about hidden streets and wandering around secretly with friends at 2 AM. Here are some of their lyrics, if you're interested:

"We walked through 'Arbo' at 2 AM last night/
for lack of a better idea to pass the time/
Our eyes were heavy, but our heats felt light/
We chopped a tree to the ground/
And broke the silence with sight.

And we saw the sky in a darker shade of blue"

Here is a link to that song if you're interested. Have you heard of these guys?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1gGqa7dAeA

Anyways, keep up the writing!

[isiah_holmes]

Thank you for the reveiw, I have been waiting forever for a reveiw on this particular poem. And ihave never heard of this band, iwill check them out though!