Closed Doors

A door slams shut

I am left outside in the cold

 

There’s no use in waiting

Doors have slammed on me before

Many, many times

Too many to count

Now I slam my door

Many, many times

Too many to count

But the cold never stops

 

What is there to do with a closed door?

Knock?

Ring?

Call out?

Tried them all

Tried in vain

No use in calling out

The door remains unmoving

Closed forever

 

Nothing lasts forever

No friendship of mine lasts long

If only they could

How I wish they could

I hope someday they will

Hope is everything and nothing

Hope is all I have

Hope is what I lost

 

My door opens

Opens slightly

To let some other person in

Then the person leaves

And it slams shut again

I turn the lock

Determined to stay closed

Afraid of rejection

So terribly afraid of failure

I lock myself in

I lock the pain out

 

Sometimes hope rekindles

A tiny spark against the cold

Only to be hastily extinguished

This is how it’s been

This is how it will stay

People come and go

The door shuts louder

People come less often

The door opens less often

Until it opens no more

Hoping for the day my door will open

And swing shut no more