Selfish

I think we all have a time in life where we feel the need to be completely detached from any type of emotional feeling besides self preservation. That is what this poem is about.

We'll never be together
And I will never love you
Won't give you the chance to establish a foundation
I would much rather leave
and roam, circle the corpses I've left in the wake of my dementia
when you were gone, he was here
and you had every right to suspect those times I left the room
had him blowing up my cell
telling you my girl was picking me up
when it was him down the street
you weren't giving the therapy to me that I needed
and I found it elsewhere
and even though I said I would never cheat
something about the liquidity made our hands, then bodies meet
and I had no remorse
cause you've cheated on me before
and we were pretending to be happy
i forgave you and stayed
and found myself out chasing rainbows every day
coming home at random hours of the night
having him drop me off, coming through back doors pretending like I don't know what's going on
you didn't care when I was hurting, why would I for you
eye for an eye doesn't make it right, but it makes me feel damn good
cause I've proved a point and validated my own desierablitly
you're an idiot for cheating and ruining things with me
and as long as I have him on the side I can rub this fact in your face
I cook, I clean, love, do this maternal thing
but we stopped having it all long ago
you stopped making me moan long ago
and now I just don't think monogamy is for me
I want it, but I don't
I want to stay committed but my common sense says I won't 
if you wanted the ring, we would have these bells
i'd wear that dress, argue with the others of which veil is best
think back to the way things could have been and were
sitting on the lanai, strumming this guitar with a bottle of syrah by my side
im crying over heartache, but won't allow my heart to fully break
and now I don't have one left for anyone to reach or take
changing my name right now would label me a fake
faithful just isn't for me
and its may sound wrong but I would rather not succumb to another nothing in a mirror
not hollow out and take on another persona just to watch you mold and change her
so grab your things, close my door
get out my bed and out of my life
I'm done with this today. The cigarettes and wine put a smile back on my face
Put on my jacket go back to what you know, stop trying to make me into your wife.

Reviews

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

this is excellent , great write

[Jack Frost]

eee- scary good and very real- loved it ;P