"Eh-hem"

emmmm

Glaring with the best of them
Sneering with the worst of them

Going to arrest some of them
Caring if you speak to most of them

Chomping on the root, to the stem
Choking on your intellectual phlegm

Pulling on the turquoise hem
Looking like I did, post-mortem

Giving the roses to Allen
He wants to go to Sheboygan

He always wanted to be one of them

He wanted to be their friend
But I knew what the Literati meant

When they say "You can't!"...I f*****g can.
If they say, "Let's go!"...Well, I already went.

And heaven forbid if I should offend
All those delicate third eyelids in sweet West Bend