12-23-2003

Old Journal entry

This man who was  standing with me outside of the boathouse on Cambridge Ave. fingered at my scarf and asked me to tell him something interesting about myself. I rolled my eyes & sighed; this guy's a pompous a*****e and I'm so tired of pompous a******s.  They used to be a nice challenge, now it's just incredibly boring.

He mistook my sigh for something else and said, "Isn't there anything interesting about you?" Smug WASP b*****d.

Mind racing:
What would you like me to say? I have dreams where I'm a happy cannibal and I'm sad when I wake up, because I always wake up before I get a chance to eat. I think your eyes are sparkly...I'd like to suck them out and pop them between my molars. Is that interesting? You smug bourgeois b*****d, with your organic coat and your vacuous ideas...I'm not here to act out your fantasies of being with someone "exotic." Unless "exotic" also means "cannibal." I'm probably the only one  here at this party who knows what children of war really feel. This fact depresses me, but hey, would that interest you? I'd like to take you home and beat the s**t out of you. No? You don't like that idea? Well s**t, that's pretty f*****g interesting....are you sure?

I just bit down on my lower lip, looked up at December's stars. Oh look, there's Orion. Where the hell is Saturn?

I sighed.

"I've seen more people heartbroken this year than any other," I said.

A*****e asked, "Um....and how does that affect you?" He raised his right eyebrow.

Nice trick. Guess what, I can do it too..but I won't. F****r.

"When my friends are sad, I'm sad," I said. Look at me, tryin' to sound all meek & s**t.

Thank God he shut up & finally walked away. He was unsatisfied. Me too.

I'll bet he looks good naked...and gagged.