eller road

wilted daisies
knotted in thick chains
dust catches the sun
kicked up from that
long straight road
you used to live on.

far enough one way
train tracks and a bridge,
listening to the rumble
from your bedroom window
you want to leave along with it
but you know things aren’t ready
to be different yet.

you put your grass
your daisy chain
the train tracks and the bridge
tucked away in your closet
watched over by the painting
your dad got you
of a place you didn’t recognize
but now wish you knew the name of.

Author's Note

feedback always appreciated :)

Reviews

[lifejunkie]

Really compelling, the imagery was so vivid, it remined me of the prose of John Steinbeck in the little poetic interludes he take in rare while in his novels. I'm really happy I came across this, at my very, very best my scribbles are a bit like this. Great pacing, great imagery, a hint of mystery and the feelings subtle enough that you reach for them a bit as opposed to the poems that bang you over the head a bit with them. A truly superb write!

[Chris Shaw]

Great imagery here and also an air of mystery. I wanted to know more. I will have to make do with what I have. Nicely composed.

Chris

[Lisasview]

Oh do I relate to when I was young...your poem really hits home..
One quick question...
I am wondering if you left out a word in your line...
"you put your grass"
I love the image of the daisy chain... I remember those..but the line I am referring to feels incomplete..
You asked for feedback ..
Lisa, now in Spain

[John the Baptist]

Has the sound of one looking back on times long gone. There is a sadness here, a memory of a youthful self who couldn't wait to leave home, but who now, years later, feels a sense of loss. The painting, a present from a father who is now probably long dead, recalls a sense of childhood security that was not appreciated at the time. But of course, as Mr. Wolfe said, you can't go home again.