Uncertain

The thoughts of a wavering heart.

On and off, on and off

Lights flicker like feeble minds

Like feeble hearts

On and off

Vague promises, hazy futures

Still, you take a step

Hold his hand now

Let it go later if you can

On and off, on and off

Feeble minds and hearts

A happy ending lies on the horizon

But an impossible way ahead

Maybe he’s not the one

Maybe he is

On and off

Decide

Love

Let go

 

 

Author's Note

this is my very first serious attempt at a poem. And since i totally suck at rhyming, i tried free verse. i dont even know if this passes up as a poem so reviews and comments and suggestions are very much appreciated.

Reviews

[Daydreamer54]

i can relate to this. Just feeling uncertain if you;'re meant to be with this person. i'm sure oithers can relate to it as well. this was a little confusing for me to understand,but at the end i got it.

[Kimberly]

I don't know a whole lot about poetry myself because I much prefer prose. That said I think that the cadence is more important than rhyme. The 'on and off' repetition makes a nice cadence but I'm not so sure about 'feeble minds, feeble hearts'. The one good piece of advice I got from my Comp 2 professor was to always read your work out loud.

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime the inner mind tell us it isn't right. It is good to listen to the mind and heart. I like this poem. No-one wants to be twisted up and led in circles. A excellent poem. I like the feel and movement of your words.
Coyote

[Bella-Marie]

I was enraptured by this poem from finish to end, and was very interested wit your author's note. Free-form suits you well. I loved the way this poem said "On off, on off..." and so on, just in different sort of ways. Great work!