If God Exists?

I live with chronic pain and grew up athiest (I'm agnostic now). I always found it hard why He lets us live in pain. I've always had this poem in my heart, I was just never able to express it.

I have trouble

Seeing and

believing if God

exists.

 

My body bends

And pops

It creaks, it

moans

 

It Horrifies some

by doing things

that no other body

Should

 

My body hurts

And aches

It screams it

groans

 

There are things

That ails both

us all that

Shouldn't.

 

Yet I move on

With another

Snap, crackle,

pop

 

I'm not a freak

Or circus clown

Or a Cirque du Soliel

artist

 

I hurtle over daily

The trials and pitfalls

That other's don't

Have.

 

I shouldn't have to suffer

I shouldn't have to see

My husband in tears for

me.

 

I'm only human

So I'm sure He'll

Understand, Why I

Question.

 

So you'll understand

If I have a little trouble

That in a just world

If God exists at

All.

Reviews

[Wildecat]

I have a wonderful friend who has fybromyalgia, bless her heart she is in so much pain, I wish you the very best and hope someday soon they find something to help with pain managment for you that really works.

[Leigh Bain]

I appreciate your words Dez. I still remain an athiest and this poem is a reflection of the questions I have about religion. I too feel the way you do only you put it better than I would have, and I didn't want to question His existance and hurt others feelings while questioning their beliefs. I'd be questioning my very own beliefs in the process and to me that's a waste of time to write a poem that in the end meant so much to me. I actually didn't realize I was doing it at the time, but in the years of having Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and Fibromyalgia - I've learned to have an understanding with them that leaves me at peace with them both, they are a part of me and I wouldn't have it any other way. But I didn't always feel like this - and on days I have bad spills (which ironically happened not more than 24 hours after writing this, I was mounting my bike and my ankle dislocated sending me toppling down to the gravel below and gashed my knee and took out a chunk, also dislocating my knee and hip in the process) I end up in tears smacking my husbands hand away as he tries to help make things better and wondering 'why me?' or 'why did I get dealt these cards?' - but I think everyone with a disability, or a condition or who even trips and falls to tear up their knee asks the same questions at some time in their lives :P.

[Dezaraye]

If everything were perfect in the world, we wouldn't grow and learn. God gave us trials for our profit and learning. Everyone has their own set unique to them. We also have free agency which is why bad things happen. But, the chances of even any baby being born are so near zero - how could God NOT exist?

This poem raises a lot of questions and a lot of debate and opinions. It's well written, but I like that you're stating your thoughts and feelings in a non-vicious way. You're not attacking those that DO believe which I think takes talent to be able to express your views without hurting others.

I respect your beliefs and my heart hurts for your pain. I'm glad you were able to share this with us.