Mistake

Bright lights

dark room

you took my hand

too soon.

Outside

quiet now

not thinking

don't know how.

You lean in

and I close my eyes 

instead of my heart.

Author's Note

This is one of the first things I've ever written, I don't really know what I'm doing at all, just as a warning.

Reviews

[Criss ;)]

As you've mentioned on your "Nothin'" poem that you're pretty new n you ain't a sharer of your writin'...well, me too never share my writin''s, so i;m here to read some writin' but my writin''re on the other side...anyways....

this's your first poem, "MISTAKE", thanks god you didn't make mistakes to make..lol, it's pretty nice poem, you know......what the thing, .....what the line i did love much's.......Outside
quiet now
not thinking
don't know how....yeah, this stanza's pretty nice,, but sorry nonoffense as you've wrote in your profile that you want criticism...so, i wanna say tht you've to improve your last stanza, it's good but make it more bright to reader......sorry if you did mind..............it's for yours....:)
good luck ;)

[smilempsn]

That 'Mistake' came out very well :)
All the best for your others mistakes what will soon come in written too ^-^

[Alanna]

Thank you very much! It means a lot.

[QuietlyCrash]

"You lean in
and I close my eyes
instead of my heart"

I absolutely adore that line. This poem is written very well and I like your style. Really good job I thoroughly enjoyed reading that.
Have a wonderful day/evening best wishes,
Riley :)

[Alanna]

Thank you for the great review, it really helps!
Alanna :)