August Fire

All constructive critiques are greatly appreciated.

August Fire

Vivid embers glow deep and sullen,

and kiss the sultry mouth of death.

All existence flawed and broken,

the August flames will soon be dead.

Innocence will render silent,

wisdom will come to rest.

The mighty flames of August' fire,

will too know a finite end.

Winds of birth breed winds of change,

to fan the flames within your soul.

Peace you’ll find within that pyre,

omnipotent the August fire.

Author's Note

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Reviews

[M Nóir]

My first thoughts are about harvest which is kind of a death, but a death with the benefit of providing the means to continue life. There's an interesting mix of renewal and cessation. So, not really knowing what the intended meaning is I'm going to lean toward that cyclical renewal/death relationship. Our own lives mirror the natural world whether we accept it or not, and the poem seems to seek those types of connections.

I think it's got a nice edge. Some mystery but not so hermetic as to stifle. In terms if suggestions, I might add some punctuation. It's a pretty formal poem in style and the lack of directive punctuation stands out because it's in contrast to that. Also, there's a few places where I thought the rhythm faltered a little. I realize it's not set to a strict meter but it has a kind of intrinsic rhythm and when that's broken it is noticeable.

It does have earmarks of the Romantics. I enjoyed it.

[irishdavey]

Thank you so much M Noir for you detailed and constructive critique. You are right on the money with the meaning also. The metaphor of death and rebirth relates to when we grieve, sometimes a part of us must die before we are reborn into a new life. The cycle of nature and the seasons must march on.

You are spot on with what you say about rhythem and punctuation. From reading some of the other awesome poems here I can see that I need to be more mindful of punctuation and slicker with rhythem. Thanks again and I am glad you enjoyed it.

[jeannemarie coulter]

very fine penning...i really responded to the two lines pasted below...well done and thought provoking

Winds of birth breed winds of change,

to fan the flames within your soul.

[irishdavey]

Thank you Jeannemarie! So glad you liked it.