As real as September seems...

11:39pm,

Sitting, as the sweet smell of rain pours in through my living room

The fan on high blowing while my lover sleeps in the bedroom

My restless mind racing

Active as the blazing winds banging against my window

Taking me to places as far back as 2009

Reading messages hidden away with the keys at the bottom of the ocean

Three times I believed I fell in love

Thrice, I knew I gave my all

But once, it seemed once it was only returned

How wrong I have been,

How young I was to realize what it was I really had

And the complications we posed ourselves through our attempts of being one

He knew then what my heart was too young to grasp,

That you could love with you entirety and yet it would not be enough

And though he shied away when the words were vital to my heart

The realization was fundamental earlier than later.

Scrolling up to earlier messages,

Poems and spoken word, serenades to my ears

Written to my heart,

Can words truly express how phenomenal the feeling is

When someone grasps the concept of your art

Appreciates it

And returns the craft with words only meant for me.

The beauty of love,

Young, sweet, beautiful love.

How young we were, yet how much I long half of that effort.

Losing a part of myself with each that I have given my heart to

The fear pounding in my chest that I have lost myself completely with my current man.

I handed my power over

My trust, the keys to my heart

To someone who has only proven to be a failed keeper

And for nothing but dust in a plate.

Yet he stands to do all to cover his acts,

Manipulates and lies as he’s seen fit

Chosen others before me, yet not a single regret

Cuddles with his control and authority in bed, sticking me in the corner

It’s a shame I feel I was once happy

Before I was lured into this lie.

And because of this love, this gut-wrenching

Painful, heartbreaking, torturous

Miserable, encompassing and unconditional love

I don’t know a life where he doesn’t exist

And his presence doesn’t breathe life into mine.

Oh love,

Why must you pierce through my soul with a knife so blunt?

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful and good words for the emotion of love. Love ain't easy.
"It’s a shame I feel I was once happy
Before I was lured into this lie."
The story sad and left the reader with thoughts and place of the writer. Love is a gamble. Need someone with same want and in the same place. Rarely can happen. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[iobiageli]

Wow, thank you. I have learnt to use my words as an outlet. It's also quite therapeutic as well as an art I'm trying to develop.

[Coyote Poetry]

I have used writing to find peace for 40 year. A good outlet and you are welcome.