Light of Life

Even something as simple as a particular star in the night sky can inspire you greatly. Noticing it's light on your life before it burns out is vital. Lakitty I wrote this...

Lookin' up one dark night 
When something came into vision
Cut open space with my knife
Pulled a star from the incision

Holding it tight in hand
With such beauty and brightness
Made me feel like THE man
Blessed with its great kindness

The impression seems wrong
I can't keep you here to stay
In the sky you belong,
Can I expect you back one day?

Throw you in the air with a kiss.
The star to return is my wish.

Author's Note

I'm still working on my skill. This has some sonnet traits but lacks the proper meter. I am currently working my way into a proper sonnet, this is a stepping stone. Written for a close older lady friend of mine. For years she has been one of the brightest stars in my sky. Sometimes letting go of something dear can be tough. Though it will turn it to what it should be. Whether it be closer in a different stand point or forever gone.

Reviews

[Lilly]

LOVE this!
The whole poem is lovely but I found the first stanza in particular to be breathtakingly beautiful! I really did find myself going 'woah' at the end of these two lines:
"Cut open space with my knife
Pulled a star from the incision" -- I love those lines! Love the image they've created

Really enjoyed reading this. Great poem :)

[intuitivesoul]

Thank you so much Lilly! That makes my day :)

[Lilly]

No worries :) You're welcome

[Dhaye]

Nice tribute to a friend whom you treated as a star.
Nice rhyme scheme and rhythm. I love the word choice.
Great!

[intuitivesoul]

Thank you very much! This one of mine seems to be getting popular lately! :) it means a great deal to me and knowing that so many people enjoy it makes me feel wonderful! Read request it to friends :)

[Earthy Mumma Soul]

I really like the rhyming scheme of the first stanza .
I also liked the subject of the poem and the meaning
and that it makes you think a little.
and I also like that its not too long :)

[intuitivesoul]

That my friend is the joy of a Shakespearean iambic pentameter :) short sweet.... leave you wondering what more is to come

[Earthy Mumma Soul]

ohhhh had no idea ...lol but yes I like x sounds like my kind of poem , maybe you will teach me ? x

[intuitivesoul]

I can surely try!

[BubblingMe]

Beautiful, I love stars, they can light up the darkest night and they are so pure

[intuitivesoul]

That's what I was shooting for :) its a dark night when letting someone go. But remembering their glow will brighten your world

[BubblingMe]

that is a beautiful saying!

[intuitivesoul]

:) thank you very much

[Anonymous/Anjaan ( Yash..]

Good work on the sonnets...! Nice WRite...

[intuitivesoul]

Sorry I missed your review for so long! I try to respond to them all. Thank you for your encouraging words!