Brother

My brother, I miss you to this day.

 

You were twisted and sick,
and funny, and so very strong.
Pardon the cliche but,
you would give the shirt off your back,
if someone needed it or,
even just wanted it.

You made me laugh.

The contests;  fishing, farting, dancing,
speeding in really fast cars,
were always such a joy to me,
even if you won, repulsed, out did,
or scared me when buckeled in.
It never mattered.

You were my hero.

There was never anything, anyone,
who could out do you.
No woman was enough to keep you.
No man was enough to compete.
No love intense enough to capture,
your ever wandering heart.

You made everything fun.

Back Creek is where we left you,
scattered the warm remnants,
of your physical self.
I will never be able to ski or swim there,
or fish, or troll in a boat there.
I will look on from the shore.

You made everyone cry.

Should we all contintue to though?
Your last moments were spent,
with friends, comrads, dancing,
laughing and going too fast as always.
How were you to know that,
you only had minutes left to live?

You will never be forgotten.

Author's Note

This poem is not in any real form. Its really meant to be spoken and heard than it is to be read.

Reviews

[Ruth]

Wow!
A solid backbone of structure here, great work!
This really captures all in a moment - excellent poem
xx

[Larissa G.]

It's touching. Writing about this subject is a painful task, and I think you conveyed memories and your love very well.

[Cassandra]

I think this is a very touching tribute to a brother who was loved and will be missed. I have 2 bros. and I can envision this as being something they would think towards one another.. brotherly love as it was meant. :) It seems as if the speaker is a younger brother. I enjoyed how you started the poem with a sharp attribute "you were twisted and sick" and then you describe the rival relationship and the bittersweet joy that was gained from the competition and the stronger qualities of the brother.. nicely done.

[Misa]

"You were twisted and sick," - This line starts the poem off in an intriguing, but ultimately negative-sounding way. What l mean is, the rest of the poem is about how he made you feel, the fun things you guys did together, then the aspect of saying goodbye to him and how that's changed your life. With the beginning l was expecting a horror, ultimately l received a poignant write. Just something to consider, however.
"How were you to know that,
you only had minutes left to live?" these two lines don't really add anything to me, though; the poems not actually about him, so much as about you TWO, and the family he left behind. Putting something referring to him specifically in this way seemed to only clutter it up. At least for me.
Structurally and grammatically, though, l found this quite well done. nice job.
~Misa