Seriously Bipolar

My emotions are emotions are on a rollar coaster
I'm on a death march
nails dragging down my arms
I am on a downward spiral
my life is out of control
I am full of rage and anger
I want to break through every mother f*****g wall that comes in front of me
I want to push people out of my life
I want scream so loud it shatters the glass I see
I want to cut my wrists
I want to end it all
I want to stab myself
I want to take my life from this hell.

Reviews

The anger blatantly comes through in this poem. One thing I liked is the repetition of "I want," at the end of the poem. This type of repetition really drives the point to its climax.

What I think you should work on though, is building imagery. Try to keep your words less abstract and you will get more of an emotional response from your readers. We need concrete images to help us feel the emotion. I liked the imagery of "nails dragging down my arms," which is a nice and disturbing image in itself. This alone tells the story of a very sick person. I enjoyed reading your poem. Thanks.