The Kissing Gate

You stand on the threshold

and stare, goodbye etched;

on your face, lines that hold

the workings of fate wretched.

Are we the darkness between

two brightly burning flames?

Or just puny pawns

in destiny's childish games?

The wonderless wonder

of dreams torn asunder?

or just another life

that forever went under?

Either way it's time,

today is the date.

Carry on & forth

beyond the kissing gate.

Reviews

[Lloyd Frieson-Small]

Beautiful mastery within this work, you are on your way to the level of unrestrained genius. I see that you cling to the rhyming genre, and while your work is impeccable, you will eventually break away from this genre and immortalize your art form in a genre of your own. Bravo, and continue your journey of mastery..

[Devesh]

Unrestrained genius? :P I'm flattered :D Thanks a lot! :)

[Tina Louise UK]

Really enjoyed this piece...beautifully done :) x

[Devesh]

Thanks a lot, Tia! Glad you enjoyed it! :)

[Raymond Federle]

Well done! An emotive read! :) :)

[Devesh]

Thanks Raymond! :)

[BlackRose]

Superb lines all throughout. Almost dream like till that end, going pass the gate, the way to whatever lies beyond it. Fab piece.

[Devesh]

Thanks a lot, I'm glad you liked it! :)

[BlackRose]

Your very welcome. :o) Just to let you know I changed the rating so you can now. I don't know if you saw my message, but check it out. Thanks so much.

[Devesh]

Will do, thanks :)

[Shaquana Adams]

Or just puny pawns
in destiny's childish games?

Carry on & forth
beyond the kissing gate.

Really love this line. This poem is really dreamlike and serene. Great work :)

[Devesh]

Thanks for reading, Shaquana! =)

[emmajoy]

There's almost a dream.like feel to this, soft, wondering, wandering.. and, then, what next.. a secret, perhaps! Sweet post, fine form, more than good rhyming scheme.. there's something about a kissing gate as if an entrance to enchantment!

[Devesh]

That's exactly what it was supposed to be..an enchantment that only few can cross over to, but eventually, all of us do. Thanks for reading and reviewing! =)

[emmajoy]

:) + a few more cos i have to use 10 characters!

[Frieda P]

You have truly found your voice in this piece Devesh. Lovely thoughts and so well pen'd my young friend.

[Devesh]

Glad you liked it, Frieda! =)

[Frieda P]

My pleasure :-)

[Rose Ellen]

Wow! You are only 17?! You have a way with words my friend :) A beautiful piece.

[Devesh]

Thanks a lot! Yes, I am :) Some experiences do that to you. :) But I'm very glad you like it, that means a lot! =)

[Madison O'Dwyer]

Wow. Just wow. This poem is absolutely breathtaking.
"The wonderless wonder
of dreams torn asunder?
or just another life
that forever went under?"

Love the metaphors, the imagery. Just beautiful.
Thank you :)

[Devesh]

First off, thank you! I was dozing in front of my computer and this woke me up :P I'm glad you like it, it really means a lot, coming from you. I thoroughly enjoyed your poetry yesterday, the imagery you used in 'Almost as If' inspired me to attempt to introduce imagery interspersed with some abstract ideas, I loved that poem. I should be the one thanking you :)

[Ren Grace]

You make rhyming look easy. This was a beautifully written poem, thanks for penning :)

[Devesh]

Thank you for taking the time to read =)

[La Luna]

This poem made me smile. Thank you for a lovely writing :)

[Devesh]

I'm glad I could make someone smile. That's the best compliment one can ever receive! Thank you for reading :)

[La Luna]

My pleasure :)