Rough Stroke

Time runs quickly or drags
can bring delight
or wound the soul
unearthing ghosts
that will not stay buried
this last year
time has dragged
bringing about nights
filled with restlessness
days brimming with doubt
sleep ruined by nightmares
fatigue of the mind and body
fueling further fears
as one waited for
time to right its self
  midnight comes and goes
sleep outside one’s reach
all this madness
brings about a sickness
of the soul and mind
yielding a deep poverty
of passion
which renders one useless
exiled in a colourless void
that consumes
and offers nothing
in return

~ 72x48 acrylic on canvas, M.C.S., 10th line woods

Author's Note

For the last year I’ve struggled with this canvas. Why? I cannot really say. It was started back in April of 2014 and it was a struggle from the start. Colours wouldn’t render correctly for me. I wasn’t pleased with the brush strokes. To this day I’m not able to describe exactly what the matter was. I know that now and then I undergo periods of dark anxiety so often without cause. I think most creative folks experience this condition. However this was something different. I often thought to just stop and gesso over the canvas and be rid of this ongoing problem but I feared if left unfinished it would haunt me and that left me fearful and unable to really work. As it was I couldn’t paint without fear for months hence all the pencil work done lately. Today I finished this beast and I feel exhausted and yet freed. Or perhaps finishing this project was an exorcism of sorts.

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. A story of struggle and then overcoming with achievement of the goal. It really takes a lot to achieve our goals. If it was easy, everyone can do it. You have to employ so many things and be patient in the process. But when it is done, joy overcomes it all... Excellent and thank you for sharing....

[MCS]

If you’ve struggled with creativity issues; I’d love it if you’d share your stories.
Thank you,
M.