Chapter 37 - New Feelings

-Dean-

 

I’d managed to talk Skye out of looking for Andrea for three days. But when Nate went missing as well, all hell broke loose in her mind. She became frantic, insane, desperate. She was constantly on the phone with either Chase or Pricilla, discussing something. She never told me exactly what, but since the police were no help, they were planning on taking matters into their own hands. I advised her against it, but she was delirious and willing to do anything for her friend. In a way, she and Chase began to reconnect while they plotted. Sometimes she would laugh, and I’d assume he’d made a joke even at a bleak time like this, and she seemed to be comfortable while talking. I’d seen Skye talk uncomfortably on the phone before with her parents. They’d never been close. At those times, she would pick at her fingernails, walk around and fiddle with things until the call was over. But with Chase she would lie on her bed and just talk. The only thing that moved on her body were her lips. And this pissed me off more than I’d ever thought a stupid phone call could. She just fell back into rhythm with him it was stupid. She was stupid. She was setting herself up for another devastating fall.

 

I often tried to get her off the phone, and sometimes it worked. Other times she’d banish me and send me outside. I never realized how her presence had become such a cherished constant in my life until it was no longer there. I found myself anticipating any time I would get to spend any amount of time with her, then be let down when she would call Chase or Pricilla. The worst part of it was I felt like I’d been a stand-in for Chase. While he was out of commission because he had hurt her, I had taken his place as the joking friend. Now Chase was back, and I was slowly being forced out of the picture.

 

I didn’t think too much of my feelings until one night when I followed her upstairs after dinner. She was chattering away on her cell phone with Chase, laughing a lot more than usual, and then going incredibly serious three seconds later. I planned on spending at least an hour with Skye, just to catch up on everything we’d missed. I accidentally stepped on her heel and she tripped, but didn’t fall. She turned around and sneered jokingly at me. That’s how I knew she knew I was there. When we got to her room, she pulled open the door, then slammed it shut behind her before I could follow. I reached for the door handle, thinking it was maybe just a joke, but then I heard the soft click of the lock locking. She’d purposefully locked me out. And I knew she’d known I was there, because of when I stepped on her, so it wasn’t a fluke. I was just a bothersome guy to her now.

 

When I walked away, something bubbled up inside me. I tried to deny it, but I couldn’t. It was that feeling I’d had about Samantha Loosky, my first real girlfriend in grade nine. I felt something warm in my chest, and it rose until it was in the back of my throat, begging to get out. But I snapped my mouth shut and walked swiftly to my room. My roommate wasn’t there, so I let myself fall onto my bed and cry for a minute. I hated myself. I hated that I was falling for my best friend, and I hated that she was falling again for her ex. I hated everything. After a few minutes of crying, I manned up and just got angry. Angry enough that I pulled out some hair. I didn’t dare punch a wall, even though I wanted to.

 

After that, everything was hell to me. Seeing her walk by sent shivers down my spine, a simple smile gave me butterflies, my name on her lips made me blush. And that’s not what I wanted. I’d only ever wanted to be Skye’s friend, and nothing more. I’ve seen her at her ugliest stages of the terrible breakup, and people more than friends don’t want to see that. I’ve been her rock in the current of bad events that kept her steady, and that’s something a friend should do. I’d never even thought about her like that until Chase was back in the picture.

 

I came to better terms with it the day she set off. I think I’ve always felt that way about her, but I’d never had to compete before. Chase was a jerk to her, someone she always would hate, but at the same time love. And I understood that. But as her hate fizzled away, I felt more wary that she’d all of a sudden be gone. And my worst nightmare came true.

 

 

“Skye!” I yelled through her door. “Come out here!”

 

An angry Penelope opened the door. “She’s not here, Dean. What do you want?”

 

“She said she’d be here.”

 

“But she’s not. I repeat: what do you want?” Penelope was in one of her infamous grouchy moods. She got those when it was her time of the month.

 

“I want Skye.”

 

Penelope glared. “I told you--”

 

“Can you just call her cell? I forgot mine,” I begged.

 

“Fine. Whatever. If you’ll leave after.”

 

“Deal,” I agreed.

 

But when Penelope whipped out her phone, she frowned. Her eyes widened and she gasped.

 

“What?” I prodded. “What?”

 

Penelope shoved the phone in my face. A text message read:

 

 

Penelope, don’t worry, I’m okay. I just had to leave for a few days. I’ll be back soon, before the final exams for sure.  Please don’t try and contact me, I’ll be okay. Love you!

 

 

I stared at the message for a long time. It was so brief, she hadn’t said anything about Chase or Andrea or Nate. And that made me suspicious. So without an explanation, I rushed out of her room and all the way to mine. I ripped apart the small room searching for my cell phone, until I found it in a heap of clothes. I opened the one text message I had, which was sent from Skye.

 

 

Dean, please don’t be mad. Chase and I went searching for Andrea and Nate and we’ll be back as soon as we can. Please don’t tell Pricilla because she’ll kill us. Just stay calm and do NOT contact me. I swear I’ll be mad if you do. Just remember that I’m never going to forgive myself if I don’t at least try and save Dre. You understand, right? You’d do this for me, I know you would. And I’d do it for you. And

 

 

It cut to a second message because it was so long.

 

 

I need you to forgive me, okay? Don’t be mad because then I’ll feel even worse. Just let me be. I’ll be home soon. I love you.

 

 

You’d think that the last part would make my insides leap, and it did for a second, but the I realized she meant in a best friend sort of love. Still, it was better than Penelope’s “love you.” But it wasn’t enough, either. She’d never see me the way I saw her, because it just wasn’t possible. She loved Chase too much. I’d never be good enough for Skye, and her leaving was just proof. 

Author's Note

yay #37! hope you enjoy! #38 will be posted later tonight...

Reviews

[selkietales]

Chase... gah. I dislike him more and more, even for things that aren't necessarily his fault. But yes! Big development!

[Sarah E. Pearson]

Omg! I feel so terrible for poor Dean :( poor baby! Sorry but Skye should be with Dean :) Dean doesn't kiss her best friends! :o Moving on to the next chapter now

[AK]

Omg! It's going awesome!

[13ReasonsWhy]

Ohhhhh. It's getting un peu intense!!! Oh my. I keep reading...

[Jasmine Thousand]

CAN'T WAIT FOR TONIGHT!!! :D :D :D :D!!!

[No name]

cant wait ... Awww poor dean

[SwagMaster]

I can't wait for tonight.........:)