One Simple Cut

A swipe of the blade

erases all of his misery.

The blood that drips

is all the relief he needs.

He sighs and closes his eyes

letting the red paint the floor.

His heart stops beating

and his hands go limp.

The blade falls from his bloodied fingers

his whole life ruined by one simple cut.

***

His body, limp and lifeless

He invades her dreams.

She sees his face everywhere.

He has come back for her.

She knows she screwed up

she regrets her cruel words.

She knows it was all her fault

and she knows he loved her so.

But he ended all of that

by one simple cut. 

Author's Note

for an acquaintance. not my best work, but, whatever. review?

**awarded 3rd Depressing Writer in the Depression contest**
**awarded Sad:( in the depressing poems contest**
**awarded made me sad in the depressing contest**
** awarded ♥♫♪Best Poet♥♫♪ in the ♥♫♪Poetic♥♫♪Poetry♥♫♪ contest**

Reviews

[Brenden Moran]

This is really good, I like it. Few things though, lets see...line 10, replace "with" with "by" so that it is grammatically correct. Line 12, place a "He" at the beginning of the line. Rework line 14 a bit, kinda awkward. Line 15, "screwed up" perhaps might be a more accurate representation of the mood you are trying to set. Hope it helps. Good job once again.

[paradise]

very sad but very well written great job

[Kayla P.]

That's tragic, but good all at the same time.

[*~*Butterfly Kisses*~*]

I can relate to the life of a cutter.
Nicely done.


~AnnaRose

[Yari Garcia (Older Prof..]

An interesting poem that tells a story, but I think it made his feelings of suicide quite simplistic. I really did like how the story is like two sides of a coin, though, telling the story from 2 different points of view AND two different places in time. Thanks for sharing :-)

[tanaya]

Wow I think this is really good! The message that you are sending out with it is amazing! How a few words could literally ruin someone's life... I can easily relate to this... Love it!!

[KAREN]

I would hate to read your worst work, for this was an excellent written piece! I felt the pain, the emotions that flowed. Very strong and powerful poem.

[futurepast.]

So dark and profound, which tells a really painful story. On the first part, you can feel the boy's helplessness to attain solace by causing himself harm, because he is so much hurt .. And you can feel the remorse of the girl in the second part. You've managed to create that anguished atmosphere in the reader's mind. Good job on that.

[Sarah E. Pearson]

I really, really liked this piece. I'm not 100% sure why. I just really, really liked...the darkness? The emotion? All of the above? Yeah.

[tk]

that's so sad.. :( i feel his pain and suffering.. anyway, great job on this once again!! :)

"The blade falls from his bloodied fingers
his whole life ruined by one simple cut."