Natalie's Poem

Natalie's Poem

A Poem by InLoveWithACity
"

This is a poem that I wrote for my friend Natalie during a time when we were both dealing with the darkness.

"

The darkness can become infectious

Spreading like a virus it envelopes the mind

It cloaks the happiness in drapes of depression

They billow in the winds of our thoughts

The mind becomes a deserted hallway

A place where hope seems lost

But if one person would try to push back the drapes

If one person would walk down that hallway and crack away at the darkness

The infection might be hindered

If one person could share their hope then all might be well

© 2008 InLoveWithACity


Author's Note

InLoveWithACity
Ignore the lack of punctuation. Grammar is not one of my stronger areas of expertise...

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Reviews

love it soo much... keep writing!!


Posted 16 Years Ago


Love it.

Posted 16 Years Ago


woww.
i loved the imagery i got from this poem.
the message behind the whole thing was
phenomanal.
and it is true...
all will be well if one person does something different to change
the sadness.
Very well written.
kudos.

Posted 16 Years Ago


This was nicely written. From the standpoint of imagery and metaphor, you did a wonderful job. The way that the darkness is likened to an infection, which can then be likened to the world in general, where people seem to ignore what's happening right in front of them. The addition of the image of "pulling back the drapes" was really nice. With a little tightening up of some of the language (like the word "hindered" in the second to last line---might better as "arrested" or "abated"...I don't know), this would be spectacular!

Posted 16 Years Ago



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Added on August 13, 2008

Author

InLoveWithACity
InLoveWithACity

Weatherford, TX



About
I am a senior this year. My English teacher and I are currently trying to get some of my work published. Just to clarify, however, there isn't much work to be had. I just started writing again recentl.. more..

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