Picture Day

One of my favorite and raw childhood memories

Picture Day

Felt like a movie star
The morning you and I
Dressed up in suits
And combed our hair
With gel
Your thinning hair
And your mustache smile
I’d never seen your hands
So clean
I didn’t know how to
Tie my tie
But you let me try
And try and try
“Patience Mijo
Patience”
That voice in my head
Like warm cinnamon apple tea
You didn’t care that
We might be late
Stood behind me
Transfixed on the mirror
My eyes glued to that pretzeled fabric
And yours to me
You let me fail
But held me down
Your firm and guiding hands
On my uneasy shoulders
Until ta-da, success and smile
And now I know
You were prepping me
For the day you were
No longer here
Your sneaky guidance
Making me think I could do it
All on my own
And now I have this picture
To cherish and
cry about
Twenty seven years later
But oh that day
We wore sunglasses in the car
Like Men in Black
You, the Tommy Lee Jones
To my Will Smith
When we arrived
I tripped on a planter
On our way to the studio
Inside the mall
I got mud on my pants
And felt so ashamed
That i ruined the moment
And it would be immortalized
In photograph forever
My eyes welled up
And I apologized for crying
For being a kid
But you knelt down and thumbed
Away a fat salty tear from my cheek
Then palmed a handful of mud
And slapped it on your knee
Wiped the rest off
On my already dirty pants
I clutched at your jacket
Ugly cried in your armpit
That deep bass in your chuckle
Reverberating, massaging my face
Into a smile
You picked me up
We walked through that mall
Hand in hand
Proud
Happy
And dirty kneed
Looking back
At this picture
I wish I could see the mud
Your hands now dirty again
For you were there for my triumphs
And my failures
Never letting me hide either
I never wanted to have to
But I can do it now
All on my own