my heart

snapshot, your heart

 

An over-worked vessel

It is the most brilliant shade of crimson red

Strapped down with a series of unscrewed bolts, and unlocked locks

That I am pretty sure should be locked up and bolted down

But silly me, I keep entrusting the keys to all the wrong people

And now the key-holes have been all but stripped bare

So there is no way to lock it down

It just lies there freely, on my sleeve

Crimson red is its color

But there is such a thick haze around it that you can barely tell

Crimson red. And im not sure why it is that color

Not sure if it’s because it is so battered, and stained with ill-textured blood

Or if it’s color is based on its purity

The only thing I am certain of is my pain

For it is the only constant in my life

And the only thing I can hope for;

Is a silent and peaceful death

For too many times have I witnessed;

The slow, painful, death and rebirth of my heart

Reviews

[doctor's diagnosis]

great imagery. really great. the repeating of your heart being crimson is nice. i think adding punctuation at the end of lines (when applicable) would help to well, punctuate the lines better. good job, keep up the good work!
" but silly me, i keep entrusting the keys to all the wrong people / and now the key-holes have been all but stripped bare "
thats deffinately the best part. i can totally relate, and i bet a lot of others can too.

[Roland Smith]

very point oriented, simple and driven
I am curious as to how you write in non ryme format, I can't seem to get the hang of it