its all in my head

They tell us to be silent

Breath deeply and relax

But how can I be silent

my mind is screaming to its max

The voices never seem to cease

their endless pounding rage

Insults spinning round and round

I can’t escape my cage

the sadness that weighs down my bones

filling them with lead

it always hangs behind

no matter what is done or said

sure I laugh and smile and grin

and chatter all day through

my weak heart stutters violently

as days, they start anew

I disgust myself with who I am

My stupid thoughts and ails

My too large stomach doesn’t shrink

And my painful bitten nails

My shaking tremors down my spine

The bile that jumps my throat

As bluing claws scratch bloody wounds

Of which I take no note

My pale skin marred once more

By furrows filled with pains

the only cure for numbness

crawling through lethargic veins