It sure feels like a good day to die..

it sure feels cold in here today

alone, hidden behind these disowned walls

forgotten... forgotten

always wishing, hoping someone would call

confined to these riddled rooms

the world outside looks away on dreadful plight

the sun leaves streaks in flattened hollowed eyes

and tears blot out the soothing light.

the days slip by ever slowly

unnoticed in their passing away

they all run together, crawling hands

such a shame when you can't remember the day.

countless years have left their mark

bedimming the fire and rigor of youth

replaced with bitter bones

tired, after years of hard living truth

oh the ache in these hands

could never equal the pain in my heart

knowing the world has left me alone

frightened, confused, soon to impart.

these fingers are pushing past useful

these withered eyes having drawn many tears

for love, for family, for friends long since passed,

witnessed in these short ninety one years.

the days slip by ever slowly

unnoticed in their passing hands

they all run together, crawling unabated

clinging to life's last fleeting strands

oh the wilfull silence, deafens

in the struggle of these aging ears

alone, long forgotten myself,

I sit passing life's last mournful tears

It feels cold in here...

not even a whisper, nor a passer by.

forgotten... forgotten

It sure feels like a good day to die.

Reviews

[Kelz]

This is so heart wrenching - to welcome death through losing everything that you once had and being truly alone is a terrible fate that many people will face :( A compassionate write x

[Larry Dyson]

you like the feeling of cold ..it does paint a different picture, silent foggy cold.. nice write..

[The Cute 1]

nice work

[lisameryl]

This verse blew me away my friend! Deeply heartfelt and sad beyond words! You are a remarkable writer! Truly expressive and intense! I love this write!

The verses that hit it hard for me are:

the days slip by ever slowly
unnoticed in their passing away
they all run together, crawling hands
such a shame when you can't remember the day.

countless years have left their mark
bedimming the fire and rigor of youth
replaced with bitter bones
tired, after years of hard living truth

oh the ache in these hands
could never equal the pain in my heart
knowing the world has left me alone
frightened, confused, soon to impart.

[KAREN]

Dreadful sadness that sometimes people really go through, you captured the sadness and loneliness so well! Love the ending, it fit the poem.
100/100

[Jeff]

Dark and heart-wrenching. This was a very good write.

[Robin]

you take the reader into the pondering heart, in the silence of the forgotten , on its last beats ... great writing

[Crowley]

That last line so reminds me of the old Indian in Little Big Man "today is a good day to die". Sad that this is the fact with many elderly folks, and will probbably be the same for me. Although I believe I will try to find some way to pay everyone back for it..lol. Alot of reaqlity, alot of emotion and a very good write. Loved it.