Zombie Plan Episode 2

A comedic story about three survivors and their daily life in a zombie apocalypse.

Zombie Plan

Episode 2

“Clean Up On Aisle 6”

 

“Cream of corn or green beans tonight?” Perry surveyed the row of green labeled cans lined up on the tan metal shelf.  His attention was diverted to the while labeled cans next to the creamed corn but he quickly looked away.  His stomach turned at the thought of eating kidney beans.  Eating anything named after a human organ just reminded him too much of the zombies.

“How about some Speghetti instead?”  Brooklyn placed the red and blue box of noodles into the shopping cart.

“That’s fine and all,” Perry replied, “but we need to have some good vegetables to supplement the meal.”

“Nah,” Brooklyn shrugged while looking at the many different jars of flavored tomato sauces lining the shelf.  “Speghetti is a full meal all by itself.”

“No it is not.”    “It is only part of a well balanced meal.  Besides you have to have vegetables to give the meal some presentation like a side salad.”

“It’s got tomatoes and tomatoes are a vegetable.”  Brooklyn picked up a jar of extra meaty tomato sauce from the shelf.

Perry stopped pushing the shopping cart.   “Brooklyn!  You know I am a vegetarian.”

Brooklyn looked at him and smiled.  Her black colored lips curling like old flaking paint.  “We have to sure you of that aliment sometime or another.”

Perry reached over and grabbed a jar of original flavored tomato sauce from the shelf. 

“Don’t forget to pick up some Jerky!”  Shouted Hobart from across the store. 

“We won’t!”  Brooklyn shouted back.  “You just keep a look out for any Zombies.”

Perry and Brooklyn pushed the cart around a corner where a tower of cardboard holding bags of photo chips and life-size cardboard football player was holding a bag of chips under his right hand like a football.   Perry glanced at Hobart positioned at the front of the store.  His brimmed safari hat rested on a cash register’s LCD display while the hunter laid flat on the register’s conveyor system.  His long riffle was propped up on the end of the counter and hidden between two metal racks holding brown plastic bags.  Hobart peered out the plastic bags like an army sniper peering out of a foxhole.  He kept the barrel pointed toward the broken front window of the store.  The remnants of the word “sale,” drawn in neon green, could be seen on the glass but the name of the product on sale was scattered in a thousand pieces lying across the floor.

“Steady girl, keep your sight on the target, and you let me handle the trigger.  Remember to wait until they walk into your sites.  That’s a good girl.”  Perry heard Hobart whispering under his breath while the cart and its squeaking wheel rolled by.

“Have you ever wondered about the mental capacity of our friend there?”  Perry turned to Brooklyn as they passed down the isle of breakfast cereal.

“What?” Brooklyn shook her attention away from the notional facts printer on the side of a fruity children’s cereal.

“I’m talking about Hobart,” Perry looked over his shoulder at the pair of cowboy boots and blue jeans that was resting on the black conveyer belt thinking they were far enough away to not be heard.  “I mean he is always whispering to that gun.”

“You mean Lulu.”

“That’s what I’m talking about.  He even named her or I should say it rather.”

“I think it’s cute.”

“It’s insane.”

“What are you afraid he is going to flip out and start shooting us?”

“Well no,” Perry felt a little ashamed for bringing up the topic and stopped talking.  Brooklyn was silent for a moment then opening the top on a yellow box of cereal.  She then grabbed the front of the cart causing it to sudden stop and Hobart to slam into the handle bar.

“Besides,” a sinister grin rose on Brooklyn’s face while she leaned over the cart’s front metal rack. “You have more to worry about from me eating you in the middle of the night.”  Brooklyn licked her lips.

“Oh stop it.” Perry was not amused by Brooklyn’s tomfoolery and he pushed the cart around Brooklyn.

“Of course you’d probably be too stringy for my test.”  Brooklyn said turning up her nose and tossing a honeycomb shaped piece of cereal into her mouth.  

“You’re ten kinds of creepy you know that.”  Perry shook his head then grabbed a box of Cherry flavored Pop Tarts.  A thought sudden crossed his mind that Brooklyn threatening to eat someone was probably her way of flirting.  He shuddered at the thought then was suddenly distracted by the toilet paper display placed halfway between the end of the cereal aisle and the meats section.  Perry immediately pushed the cart over and grabbed several packs.

“We’ve got!”  Hobart shouted.  Perry and Brooklyn looked at each other with dread then ran toward the front of the store, the squeaky wheel crying all the way.

“Is it the horde?”  Perry asked pushing the cart up behind Hobart.  Brooklyn pulled off her pink Hello Kitty back pack and pulled out an UZI submachine gun.  Perry looked out the broken window at an almost empty parking lot with a few remaining vehicles and crashed Blackhawk helicopter in handicap parking section.  He couldn’t see anything living or dead moving across the pavement.

Hobart kept his right eye fixed to the back end of his scope.  “Coming around the corner of that hardware store over there in the other shopping center.  11o’clock.  Looks like two SUVs.  One white and the other one tan.  Both with spinning rims.”

“That can only be one person.”  Perry rolled his eyes and sighed with disgust.

“What?  Who is it?  Should we shot them?”

“It’s the Jackson the Taxman.”  Hobart said turning his gaze the fidgeting Brooklyn.  The very words he uttered were said with an air of contempt like he was talking about basement mold. 

“Who’s the Jackson the Taxman?”

Perry ducked behind the magazine stand, grabbed Brooklyn by the sleeve and pulled her behind the stand with him.  He kept one eye out of the window while Hobart tossed him his hat off the display and went back to looking through the scope.  “Jackson is one of the guys who works for Little Ray.”

“Who’s Little Ray?”

“Girl, you been underground this whole Apocalypse?  Little Ray is the undisputed self-proclaimed new mayor of the city.”

“What?” A confused impression came over Brooklyn’s face as she shrugged her shoulders with the Uzi still in her hand.

He and his gang believe they own this town and they make survivors pay them a protection tax.”

“Protection tax?”

“Pretty much Little Ray and his thugs take anything that they want and if you don’t give it to them then the rough you up real good.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Yeah and little Ray’s collection man is not the nicest of guys either.”

“And his collection man is…”

“Jackson the Taxman.”

Hobart shot up his hand.  Perry immediately stopped talking.  Perry asked in a whisper, “Are they coming this way?”

“They’re stopping outside.”

“Crude on a muffin,” Perry griped, “Our trucks out there.”

Perry looked out the window and saw three big guys jump out of the Tan Escalade.  Each had a shaved head, black sun glasses, gold chains around the necks, bulging muscles, loosely buttoned short sleeve shirts, and a semi-automatic weapon.  One of the hoodlums pointed to the blue GMC Jimmy parked out front of the store and then the others began moving towards the vehicle.  They approached the vehicle with their guns pointed constantly at the target.  The circled the SUV then after a moment backed off.

“All clear!” the gruff voice of one of the hoodlums shouted.

They all lowered their weapons then started surveying the parking lot.  The doors on the white Escalade opened and a tall man stepped out with dark brown skin, black hair in corn rows, a white suit, white shoes, a lavender purple shirt and a brown cigar hanging from the left side of his mouth.  He grabbed the front of his suit jacket and straightened his shoulders.  Perry knew it was none other than Little Ray.  He could recognize that greasy sleazebag anywhere.

Little Ray started talking with his men but he was too far away for Perry to hear what he was saying.  He pointed in various different directions then at last his gaze settled on super market.  He strode over confidently with a certain swagger in his walk towards the grocery store as six armed men surrounding him on all sides.

“Come out Perry!  I know you’re in there.” 

Hobart adjusted the but of his riffle on his shoulder.  “You want me to put a bullet between his designer sunglasses?”

“No,” Perry said, “I better see what he wants.”

Perry strode by Hobart towards the front window and shielded his eyes from the noon sunlight that glared in through the broken frame.

“What do you want Jackson?”  Perry shouted.

“You haven’t paid your dues yet for this last month and you know I don’t want you to start mounting up interest.”

“I’ll bring it by the office tomorrow.”

“You’ll bring it by the office today.  Oh, and Perry.”  Jackson waved his hand at the grocery store like a Baptist preacher in the middle of a sermon.  “I hear you’ve picked yourself up another survivor.  You know all survivors have to be registered to receive their protection benefits.  I mean we can’t have any illegal citizens running around getting eaten now can we?  I mean the Mayor’s got a reputation to maintain for protected his voters.  Squid Pro Quo, Perry.  Squid Pro Quo”

“It’s ‘quid Pro Quo’, you moron.”  Perry muttered under his breath.   Perry hated the way Jackson would always mess up his legal terminology.  He knew the rumor about how Jackson had flunked out of the community college’s law program before the apocalypse but his extend in the academic world was enough to give him verbose enough of a vocabulary.

“Stay hidden,” Hobart said to Brooklyn as she ducked back behind the Cosmopolitans and Time magazines. 

“Who are you talking about?”  Perry shouted.

“The Goth girl you picked up a couple of weeks ago.  Come one Perry.  You know you have to pay your dues for every member of your family you add on.”

“Goth girl?”  Perry sounded confused.  He knew in his mind the Jackson was talking about Brooklyn but he also knew it would be better for her if the Taxman never knew she existed.

“Don’t tell me you forgot.  Black hair with pink streaks.  Creepy all black outfit with a Hello Kitty backpack.  Could be mistaken for a vampire.  She’s been riding around with you and the Aussie for a couple of weeks now I hear.”

“Oh yeah, the Goth girl.  Hobart and I gave her a lift the other day.  Weird-girl.  Creped both of us out.  We dropped her off someone near south central I believe.”

“Don’t play games with me.”  Jackson chuckled.  “She’s with you right now.  And you know if you don’t want to claim her on your taxes then I can always take her from you and put her in human services.  I know Little Ray prefers Blonds but I’m sure he can make an exception in her case.”

“Why that pig.”  Brooklyn cocked the handle on her Uzi.  “I’ll kill him myself.”

“No,” Hobart said as he threw out his arm like a gate to bar her path, “that will only bring down the rest of Little Ray’s men down on our heads.  I hate to say it but we best to run away and fight again another day.”

“Hobart, Brooklyn,” Perry turned his head slightly from the window without moving his body.  “We need to find a way to get out of here, fast.  And I’ve got a plan.”

Perry turned toward his head back toward the window.  “Okay, Jackson.  You win.  She’s in here with me and Hobart.”

Jackson laughed out loud.  “Then bring here out here.  I’d like to get a look for myself and shake hands with our newest citizen.”

“Alright,” Perry yelled back, “but she’s hiding in the back.  I’ll have to go get her.”

“Don’t take too long there Perry.  And if you and that Aussie try anything funny then we won’t hesitate to do our worst.”

Perry turned around to Hobart and Brooklyn.

“What’s the plan chief?”  Hobart asked.

“Hobart I need, you two to go to meat department and find me some leftover hamburger.”

“Got it boss.”  Hobart hopped off the counter and speed off down the cereal aisle.

Perry turned to, “Brooklyn, I need you to go back and get me some spaghetti sauce.”

“Okay.”  Brooklyn pulled the two jars out of the shopping cart.  “Will this do?”

“Perfect,” Perry said taking the one jar and quickly twisting off the lid.  He began pouring the sauce all over his t-shirt and his arms.  Brooklyn looked bewildered.

“What is painting yourself like a two-year-old eating a spaghetti dinner going to do?”

“Just watch.”  Perry the proceeded to repeat the process with the other jar.  Hobart came running up with several unthawed packages of hamburger.

“Go ahead and open the packages.”

Hobart complied and Perry took several handfuls and rubbed them again his clothes and forearms.

“I’m waiting Perry!”  Jackson shouted from outside.

“Ok,” Perry whispered, “Hobart, I want you to fire off a couple of shots into the ceiling.  Brooklyn, I want you to scream bloody murder like you’re being torn apart.”

“I like where you are going with this.” Hobart smiled as he lifted his gun high in the air.  Brooklyn smiled as well and the two prepared themselves.  Perry went to side of the front window just out of view.  He gave Hobart and Brooklyn a wink.

“Stay away you zombies!”  Perry shouted out load.

Hobart fired off several shots into the ceiling.  The shots rang out with loud bangs.  Brooklyn started screaming.  Perry watched as the Jackson’s armed guards instantly started moving backwards and lifted their funs in defensive firing positions.  Jackson himself started moving backwards and reached into his coat pocket pulling out a gold plated 9 mm handgun.

Perry then dropped to the floor and proceeded to climb out of the front window.  His red stained hand appeared first out of the open pane and then he slowly limbered out holding his stomach.  He stood up on the outside sidewalk and proceeded to hunch over his gut.  Finally he let loose the hamburger from his hand giving the appearance of guts falling out of his stomach.  He then fell to the ground and lay limp.  The screaming and shooting stopped and then Brooklyn and Hobart began moaning in loud agonizing moans.

Jackson and his men took off towards their Escalades, climbed in, and drove off in a hurry.  Both Escalades bumping over concrete medians and planters rather than taking the built exits.  As soon as they were out of sight Perry got up off of the ground.  Tomato sauce dripped down his face from his hair.

Hobart climbed out the window with Lulu in his hand and Brooklyn following behind.  A smile came across his face as slapped Perry hard on the back.  Perry jolted forward from the hit and a stinging pain shot into his shoulder blade.  “That’s was some plan there Perry.”

Perry felt like he had grown two inches from the pride he found in his work.  “Now that is one for my posterity recording don’t you think?”

“That was quite the zombie plan.  I’d say.”

Still feeling quite proud of himself Perry replied, “I guess it was.”

Brooklyn came up close to Perry and with her finger and wiped a bit of sauce off of his arm.  He was startled by her tough but didn’t move.  He felt his heart beat faster.  She proceeded to lick her finger clean.

“Now you are good enough to eat.”  Brooklyn said with a wink.

Perry gulped as his mind went blank and spaghetti sauce dripped on his white running shoes.  Just then a loud moan came from inside the dark depths of the grocery store.  The all turned toward the darkness inside the window.  Aisle off food and empty cash register stations where all they could see. 

“I think it’s time to get out of here.”  Hobart said pointing his riffle towards the window.

“Agreed!”  Both Perry and Brooklyn said in unison.  The three dash off for their GMC Jimmy.  The loud moan from the store was joined by other loud moans.  Hobart fiddled with the keys trying to get the right one for the driver door.

“Come on!  Come on!”  Perry said looking over his shoulder back at the dark window.

“Why do you have so many keys?”  Brooklyn repeatedly kept lifting the door latch even though the SUV was looked.  Hobart kept rummaging through his dozens of keys on his key chain before at last coming to the right one and at last thrusting the small silver key into the lock.  He opened the door and proceeded to unlock the other doors.  The three climbed in, shut the doors and looked toward the grocery store window.  There was still nothing in the empty dark window.  Hobart started the engine and proceeded hurriedly out of the parking lot. 

Perry looked back at the grocery store and laughed.

“What’s so funny?”  Hobart asked.

“We left our groceries in the cart.”

 

To Be Continued…

 

Author's Note

All comments are appreciated.