"Elegance"

detruction of all good things feel similar

 A Connections not thorough so the image won’t show

Until the fuse gets replaced you’ll never know

What there is beyond the road making it so?

You cannot see what’s after the river

And just before the trees

Where it all began and where it all died

The place where she bled

Next to the spot where we cried

Somehow wires got hot crossed and a tube has blown

Consequently shards and razors were elegantly thrown

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You cannot see what's after the river
And just before the trees
Where it all began and where it all died -- great lines.

I like the juxtaposition of nature and something like electricity and fuses...it's a nice contrast that illicits a certain emotion. Some great imagery as well "Somehow wires got hot crossed and a tube has blown"--this is insanely unique and quite fantastic as an image. Overall, I really enjoyed this write.

[stephen dillon]

thanx i will check outyour work

[stephen dillon]

What a write stephen... geez, you let me into a elegant suicide it seems... however this is brilliant. I need to check that band out on wich you wrote this... I'm curious.
You write very visual.

- Elisa

[stephen dillon]

yeah it was electric lady land by the jimi hendrix experience
and thank you so much btw would you like to collab on a zine all of us can do it and i'll foot the bill

Oh how did I missed this one? geez, sorry.... Nice Jimi Hendrix, so love his music... so psychedellic... :) I'm in to anything, mail me for more details :)

[stephen dillon]

no u mail me with a poem and i will add to it and see were we go from there

I will when I'm fully online on here again, ha... on a break right now, sorry... I will never forget though, until we meet again x

[stephen dillon]

i';; either write a new one knoe i got alot savedup andyo can illustrarate with prose

Interesting.... ;) combi's are one of my favorites....

[Chris]

I miss you Eli...you take care now.

I miss you too Chris!!! love, and blessings, be back sooner than you think ;)

[stephen dillon]

i was listening to electric ladyland when i wrote this are you experienced?

[kublakhan27]

This put me in mind of the words and voice of Hendrix or Jim Morrison...general philosophies are narrowed down to a distinct scene and memory, and become more intense in the process...great writing.

[char]

Also good. But you spelled "bleed", seveth line, I'm sure you meant to put "bled". Past tense. :)