"52 Card Pick Up"

sponaneous

placesx
powerlessx
reachx
ancientx
sadnessx
greedyx
dawnx
heartx
onlyx
daybreakx

Powerless plutonium places where dawn only gets greedy when heart/attacks the ancient instruments

that oblong shaped humanoids reach for while the sun in attempts to catch helplessness in time before sadness

destroys you and the daybreak(s) into a house of falling cards, forcing the world to play 52 card pick up

until it's time to hack the long pig up, cannibal,manamal what ever we or they are in the galactic problem of depression

sessions

 

 

Author's Note

hope its good

Reviews

[Helen Crutchett]

It's very good! I loved this line especially:

".........for while the sun in attempts to catch helplessness in time before sadness destroys you.

Actually, while typing that in I thought maybe it may read better if you just had 1 'in'.
Take out the one before 'sun'. What do you think?

Thanks for submitting this to Tovli's Ten Prose Contest!

Helena

[stephen dillon]

i usually don't edit spontaneous prose all the way unless something is spelled wrong

[Helen Crutchett]

Fair enough! I understand. Helena

[stephen dillon]

are you the moderator?

[Helen Crutchett]

Sure am

[stephen dillon]

collio moderaters endorsment i really need som kinda medal i have not a one but enough material for half a book

[Eileenws]

Good job on putting all the words into a poem. It is a great thinking exercise. I always put my free writing exercises in a three ring binder and save them for the future. Keep up the good work!

[Raef C. Boylan]

Was it one of those challenges to include all the words in the list? Some nicely original images throughout this piece, pretty cool.

[stephen dillon]

yup i hope i win i would like some of dem der badgers

[Raef C. Boylan]

Haha, nice one.

[Tasha]

Very spontaneous, loved it!

[stephen dillon]

thanx i really appreciate it

[Tasha]

youre welcome

[Holly Mason]

reads like it was just let out of a cage
love it
thank you for sharing

[stephen dillon]

just as it was intended could you by chance tell me who your favorite poets are?

[Holly Mason]

Thomas Carew
Sir John Suckling
and Whiskurz(for the peaceful laugh factor)

[stephen dillon]

if you like me i go for ginsberg ab bukowski also some gritty irvine welsh and for satire burroughs and voneguet but i just started so what do you expect i realate with their substance abuse and humor

[Holly Mason]

my preference has always been for the 17th century English poet do not know why they are deep,romantic and imaginative
they wrote it like they meant it

[stephen dillon]

maybe but i know these beat guys wrote it like they lived it

[Holly Mason]

that is great!!
write it like you live it ...love it

[stephen dillon]

thanx

[Muse]

I love this game, not really. ;) Your words shuffle yet rhyme. I thought it was sublime.

[stephen dillon]

i really liked this game it helps me develop cut up technique

[stephen dillon]

funny girl