Everything�s Magic, Chapter 4, Better Than Me.

Sorry but i'm too lazy to write a description....

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Everything’s Magic

Chapter 4

‘Better than Me’

“PETE! OH MY GOD PETE!!!!” Patrick screamed as he saw Pete’s blood stained arm, and then saw him fall to the floor out cold. He couldn’t understand why on earth his best friend would do something like this; he knew he’d had issues before now, but not enough for them to come back to the surface.

Patrick fell to his knees and sobbed uncontrollably as he saw Gerard rush past him to check if Pete was breathing and he saw Brian stand there staring at Pete’s arm.

“Brian! Don’t just stand there help me get Pete up, we’re gona need to take him to his bed at least...”Gerard said quite calmly in comparison to Patrick’s screaming.

So Gerard and Brian lifted Pete by both ends and heaved him onto his own bed, whilst Patrick trailed behind them in utter shock and went to stand by Frank who’d been sitting on Patrick’s bed the whole time as he didn’t want to see what had happened, but of course he had now, so he rushed to Patrick’s side and hugged him tightly.

“Don’t worry Trick, Pete will be okay, he’s tougher than we think....”Frank whispered in Patrick’s ear a little unsurely.

“That’s the problem, we all think he’s so tough damn it! But he’s not! How could I think he’d gotten over everything so easily...I just don’t understand why he’d do this unless something really bad had happened Frank...”Patrick replied biting his lip nervously as he watched Gerard and Brian rush around getting a towel and wrapping it round Pete’s wounds tightly as they tried to wake him up, they would’ve called somebody by now, but they all knew how this would look and knew Pete wouldn’t want anyone to look at him like some kind of suicidal freak.

Then Pete began to respond coughing a little at first but eventually becoming fully awake and staring around at all his friend’s faces, his expression was at first bewilderment, but it slowly turned to horror as he read their expressions and looked at his arm suddenly remembering what he’d done, how he’d allowed the shining razor blade to lure him to this bloody bandaged state.

“I’m so so sorry...” Pete managed to say as tears began to seep down his cheeks and Patrick rushed to his side and fell to his knees and gave Pete his hand.

“Don’t be Pete, just please tell us what’s happened? Why did you do this to yourself? I thought you were ok...I thought Ryan had made you feel kind of better...” Patrick replied between small silent sobs.

“Bert...The common room...He was –sob- kissing...Ashlee...” That was all Pete could manage, then he started crying so much that he couldn’t speak, all his friends’ could was try and hug him and tell him it was okay and he’d be fine and they’d not tell anyone what had happened, unless he wanted them to.

Eventually Brian, Gerard and Frank left, leaving Patrick alone with Pete as Patrick cuddled Pete’s head to his chest and told him he’d be ok, just like they used to when they were young if Pete had got a ‘boo boo’. Patrick was always the one that would fix things for Pete, and he hoped he could fix things this time too.

After sometime Pete fell asleep and Patrick put a cover over him and left him on his bed, he had someone he needed to talk to, and it couldn’t wait a second longer, he had to see Bert, he didn’t know what he could say since Bert and Pete weren’t going out so really Bert could go about kissing whoever he liked, but Patrick still knew he had to say something to Bert, he couldn’t let what had happened to his best friend lie.

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-Knock Knock Knock-

“Come in! It’s not locked!” Was the reply Patrick got after three sharp knocks on Bert’s door.

“Hi Bert.” Patrick said coldly as he entered the room where Bert sat on his bed browsing the net on his laptop.

“Hey Trick, what’s up?” Bert said closing the laptop so Patrick could have his full attention. “If it’s about Pete...I- I can’t really say anything since we’re not dating and I made it clear that I only wanted to be friends with him after that kiss...I told him I’d always be there for him, but that I didn’t feel the same as he did...Although he is great to have around.”

“Right, sure, he’s great to have around to boost your frigging ego I bet!! Oooh look at me I’ve got Pete Wentz hottest guy going chasing after me like a little puppy dog, I bet you loved it! Every last minute. Well I’ve got news for you Bert, Pete’s currently lying in our dorm room crying his f*****g eyes out with goddamn bandages all the way up his f*****g arm you stupid b*****d!!! ALL BECAUSE YOU CAN’T KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF ASHLEE SIMPSON!!! You knew how he felt and you could have been just a little bit more considerate you know, maybe not be sitting in the common room making out with one of Pete’s friends, someone Pete actually was starting to like! But nooo! You just can’t help yourself can you!” By this time Patrick was shaking like crazy and he was so red he looked like he was about to explode, if Patrick wasn’t so small it’d have been pretty terrifying.

“How can you blame me for Pete doing that to himself? I’m sorry I didn’t know he felt so strongly about me, I never thought he’d do something like that, I’d always admired him so much for the way he could just brush things off...” Bert replied looking only slightly ashamed.

“Oh just f**k off Bert, just f**k off!!! Everyone thinks Pete’s so tough but HE’S NOT!!!!!! I don’t care if you don’t think you should be blamed but for f**k sake feel a little bit sorry at least...The guys in love with you...I- I have nothing more to say to you because your face pisses me off so damn much I just wana smash it...Bye Bert...” Then Patrick stormed out of the room falling against a wall shortly after he slammed Bert’s door closed, that shouting had really taken it out of Patrick, he’d never seen himself so angry.

He hurried back to his room to check on Pete, but found no one there when he arrived, but he did find a note it read:

I’ve gone out to get some air, don’t come looking for me, I just need some time alone, please Trick, and don’t worry about me.

But of course Patrick was going to worry, he was terrified Pete would do something stupid again, and he didn’t know if he could really take it. He hated knowing that the person causing his best friend so much pain was still breathing the same air he was, but he knew there was nothing he could do but give Pete some space to himself...meanwhile...

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“Hey Ash, swing by the dorm room babe.” Bert said to Ashlee as they spoke on the phone.

“Ok...Only if you’re sure, Pete looked pretty upset after he saw us, what if we get caught again?” She replied nervously.

“Don’t worry honey, who cares what those guys think? Just come by and see me baby.” Bert said putting the phone down and resting his head back against his headboard, stretching as he did so, whilst Jeph merely sat and shook his head at Bert appearing mildly amused.

“What?” Bert said as he could see Jeph grinning at him.

“I just find it kinda funny that one minute you and Petey are all over each other and now it’s all about you and Ashlee, I bet you don’t even like her and she’s just another one to fix your bruised ego, what’s up? Did Petey turn you down huh?” Jeph said smirking.

“No, he did not turn me down as a matter of fact I turned him down so you can shut your trap, I like Ashlee I have done for a little while now, I know it was all about me and Pete before and I won’t say I don’t care about him a hell of a lot, but I don’t want him like that...at least I don’t think I do...GAH! I just wish everything wasn’t so messy...I don’t know how you do it Jeph...” Bert said sadly as he remembered Patrick’s angry face and shaking fists.

“No string attached, that’s my motto.” Jeph stated. “You’ve changed you used to be able to just get off with chicks and it’d be fine, but since you’ve decided you like guys too it’s all been like Duuuude...”

“I know I know...” Bert said dejectedly, all this stuff was really taking it out of him, he felt so so guilty he knew he’d been leading Pete on and only now realised how bad what he’d been doing was, and he felt so selfish, so wrong.

Knock, Knock.

“Oh Ashlee’s here...” Bert said only slightly cheered up by this, he went and opened the door and was greeted with a passionate kiss as Ashlee held his face in her hands, when he was freed, he stared at her taking in her appearance as she was wearing a gorgeous tight turquoise vest top with a superb cleavage, along with tight black jeans that set off her curves perfectly and a pair of pointed black boots to finish the very sexy look.

“Wow...You look a-a-amazing Ash.” Bert stuttered grinning at her as she entered his room smiling cheekily.

“I think I’ll head out...” Jeph said raising an eyebrow as Ashlee settled herself on Bert’s bed with a light bounce.

Just before he left he gave Bert a thumbs up and winked at him whispering “Go for it, she’s hot!”

This just made Bert grin as he walked over to Ashlee and sat down with her on the bed, as soon as his bum had touched the bed she was on him kissing his face and neck wildly.

“Hey, heeyyy!!” Bert said pushing her slightly but gently. “Slow down Ash; don’t go so fast we don’t want this getting out especially not after how Pete reacted...”

“What are you talking about? All he did was run off.” She replied dumbfounded.

“That’s not all he did Ash...He went back to his room and cut up all of his left arm because of what he saw, because of how he feels about me...don’t say it’s not my fault coz it is, if I’d not been so cuddly with him then he may not of thought there was a chance...I lead him on” Bert finished looking at her sadly.

Her eyes filled with tears as she thought about Pete doing that to himself, Pete a good friend of hers...she felt like she’d let him down, she knew how he felt for Bert but she did it anyway, and even now as she sat here with tears in her eyes she still let Bert hold her and she still said yes when later on after lots of hugs and kisses he asked her if she wanted to be his girlfriend even thought they both knew deep down that it wouldn’t work coz the guilt would get to them eventually.

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The next few weeks were seemingly the worst in Pete’s life, he drifted through lessons, all of it a blur only to feel at all when he saw Ashlee and Burt walk past him hurriedly in the corridor making sure to not make direct eyes contact, but he was happier when he couldn’t feel the pain in his chest when he saw them.

Patrick was worried about him, everyone was worried about him, even some of the teacher’s were worried about him, but when they tried to confront Pete he’d simply put on a brave face and tell them all that he was okay and that he didn’t need any help, or if they said he wasn’t eating he’d say he had no time since he had so much homework, or he’d stuff an apple into his mouth, spitting it out when people were gone.

It hurt to eat, it hurt to breath, it hurt to sleep, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could take the lying to everyone, the wearing long sleeved shirts and hundreds of wrist bands to cover the ever growing collection of red marks covering his last arm.

Then one day he was going through his bedside draw and found something he’d forgotten he’d even had...The note from Ryan, or as it had said at the bottom Ryro.

“Oh my God!” Pete exclaimed causing Patrick to almost jump out of skin as he’d not been used to any noise in his room since Pete had gone into his little depression.

“What?! What’s happened?!?” Patrick replied worrying what Pete may have done now since he knew about the scars.

“I found that bit of paper with that guy Ryan’s info on it!” Pete said sounding happier than he had done in weeks; in fact he was actually smiling much to Patrick’s shock, joy and amazement.

Patrick was so overjoyed by Pete’s happiness that he leapt on Pete and gave him a big hug, which much to his horror caused Pete to scream in pain as Patricks arm was crushed against Pete’s cut up left arm.

“Oh s**t! I’m so so sorry Tink!!!” Patrick said regretting the hug a little now.

“Aww don’t worry just try not to be so forceful please Trick...It was a nice thought though.” Pete said ending with a small smile as he rushed over to his laptop and planned on logging into his IM for the first time in weeks.

In a matter of minutes he’d added Ryan’s IM and sat impatiently as he nervously waited for Ryan to come online and accept his request.

“Grr, whys he taking so long Triiick!?” Pete whined.

“Calm down, he’ll be on soon.” Patrick answered grinning at Pete’s childishness.

Then finally after 10 minutes of Pete waiting, he finally saw the little box pop up saying that [email protected] was online at long last.

“Fiiinaaallyyy!!!!” Pete squealed quickly clicking on Ryan’s screen name which read RyroTehGr8 which caused Pete to giggle, his own screen name was currently DeadIsTheNewAlive which was the title of one of his favourite Emilie Autumn songs.

He took the plunge and simply typed:

DeadIsTheNewAlive says: Hi, I’m not sure if you remember me, but I’m Pete Wentz the guy you gave ur info to at Brian’s party.

After a few seconds of worrying for Pete, Ryan finally replied.

RyroTehGr8 says: Oh yeah sure I remember yoo! I was wondering when you’d get around to contacting me, I thought you’d forgot about likkle old Ryan Ross XD I heard you’ve been having a rough time lately, Brian said the guys have been worried about you...

DeadIsTheNewAlive says: Yeh...Things have been pretty hard...you remember that guy I mentioned called Burt, well he’s now going out with this girl called Ashlee who I thought was a good friend of mine, apparently her family isn’t happy about it since all people hear of Burt is trouble trouble trouble...

RyroTehGr8 says: Aww –hugs- It must be so hard seeing them together, I wish I could give you a cuddle. Lolz. I’ve been thinking about you an awful lot since the party Pete.

Conversation generally stayed like this, Pete steadily feeling better and better as he opened up more and more to his new friend Ryan, he couldn’t believe he’d forgotten about Ryan since just looking at his display picture filled his stomach with butterflies and he buzzed nervously every time Ryan took a little too long to reply as he feared something he’d said may have scared him away, Pete was a pretty crazy guy and he was worried that Ryan might think he was weird, but as the days turned into weeks he realised nothing he could say would phase Ryan in the slightest, the cutting had upset Ryan a lot and they’d even had a chat over the phone about it coz he was so upset by it, but other than that Ryan seemed to think all of Pete odd ways were cute, and although for the most part Pete’s depressiveness made very little progress he didn’t seem dead anymore and sometimes on a really good day he’d make polite forced conversation with Burt whilst everyone ate.

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Then suddenly everything changed...

Buzz Buzz Buzz

“Gah! Who’s texting me at this time?!” Pete complained as his phone vibrated on his chest and had woke him up at 2am, which wasn’t nice since he rarely slept due to unpleasant nightmares.

His eyes widened in shock as he saw the text was from Burt, and his widened even further when he saw what it said:

It’s all over between me and Ash, I couldn’t take her whining and her constant threats anymore, I don’t really want her, in the end I was only with her coz she was there and wanted me...I know how bad that sounds, but I was unhappy with her, it wasn’t anything like the good times we had together...Pete please, Pete forgive me please I miss you so much, please Pete don’t hate me I just want to see you so badly, come meet me in the garden, look out ur window you’ll see me waving.

Pete obeyed and went to the window and just was promised he saw a hooded Burt waving his arms frantically, Pete waved back to show he’d seen Burt, and coz he was an utter sap he quickly put his shoes on, forgot to put on his t-shirt and silently ran out of the room and to the garden where he’d seen Burt.

The first thing he did was run at Burt and leap on him throwing his arms around him as if Burt was his long lost friend who he’d not seen in years, but to Pete that’s how it had felt, and he couldn’t have been happier to have Burt back if he tried, of course he forgave Burt, he’d never hated Burt and never could.

He just hoped Ryan would be as happy about him having Burt back as he was since he’d really come to care about what Ryan thought about stuff, but he knew that Ryan would be happy for him as long as he was happy, and all he wanted was for Pete to be happy and to stop the cutting which had gradually gotten less since Ryan had been helping him and they’d been opening up to each other about their pasts...Now all Pete really hoped was that this time with Burt things would be different and maybe just maybe they could make a go of this...He didn’t wana go back to those dark dark times...When all he could ever think was, I’m glad he’s with her, coz he could do so much better than me...

Author's Note

So far pretty much no interest in this fic, I dont think im gna write for much longer if no ones even reading it on here or on livejournal to be honest...its wasting my time otherwise...

Reviews

[Everything Happens For ..]

the situation between pete bert and ashlee seems very familiar.

almost too familiar to be a coincidence.

[Secondhand Tink]

-curses self for spelling BERT wrong towards the end...-

[Spilled Her Guts in Cur..]

I'm glad Pete's stared talking to ryan now. But bert only spells trouble to be honest.

bert ashlee *shudders*...