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CHAPTER ONE

It’s 2 a.m. and I’m in love for the third time this week. It’s only Thursday.

I seem to be falling in love more frequently lately. Almost everyday I find something or someone to fall for.

Just the other day a gorgeous girl with long, blonde hair brushed against me at the gas station on the corner. I knew right then and there that I found the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I went the entire day obsessing about her; yearning for this woman, desperately scraping my brain for an idea as to how I could see her again.

That feeling was quickly replaced when I fell in love with the weatherman.

Now, don’t take that the wrong way; I am not a homosexual in any way, shape or form. I just have this uncanny ability to fall in love with anything. He was sort of an attractive fellow; short, dark hair peppered with gray. I’m not even sure that I was attracted to him, just in love.

It doesn’t matter where I’m at, who I’m with, or what kind of mood I’m in; love is always just around the corner for me. Just last week I proposed to a rock. It turned me down.

Today a woman walked past me in the coffee shop and I fell in love again. She had dark shoulder-length hair and scowled at me as she walked past. This isn’t like the usual love. This is different than all the times before. If I can find this girl again I will never have to fall in love again.

Love: it really is a beautiful thing.

It’s 2 a.m. and I’m in hate for the third time this week. It’s only Thursday.

Some people believe in love at first sight. I believe in hate. I can see a person I have never met before and hate them before I ever learn their name.

Just today some guy brushed up against me in the coffee shop and I knew right then and there that I found the man I wanted to murder. I spent the next several hours thinking of ways I could mutilate him.

That feel was quickly replaced when I turned on the television. The news anchor’s face made me hate her.

I watched the rest of the broadcast hoping she would have a seizure.

Hate: it really is a beautiful thing.