driving

i close my eyes and the headache comes back

She said. 

"Put your hand on my face so I know its real."

I put my hand against her cheek and i could describe in vivid detail how it felt, but that would bring you no closer to truly understanding how much i felt my insides shift after doing that. And i felt it so strong I had to stop driving the car otherwise i would have crashed.

I felt her eyes on my cheeks, they began blistering red and I was struggling to find a place to park and pull all the thoughts of you 

from the places i had put them inside my head.

"Lets stop there." you said, but you weren't looking at the road you were pulling my hair out of my head.

"How can love just drop dead?" you say to me in another time and place, far in the past.

Flashing lights and drinks and purple music.

"How can two people just wake up one day and have nothing exist between them?"

You weren't talking to me but i found my way in I said.

"I could wake up tomorrow and be a completely different person."

You laughed, looking away before you caught my face and i saw

something

in you s

hift

Your eyes grew to be the way i remember you best before the memory is gone once more.

"That life doesn't exist" you say, holding clumps of my hair.

"it is the past life of a past life."

I hear my own voice drowned in yours, so far below the surface its like i'm not even there. and when i woke up i ran my hand through my hair, before you called me up to meet me there

and i

remember almost the way

i crashed my car the night i drove back from your place

through the neon lights and alleyways

i crashed my car and hit my face i drifted out of time and space

i fell into your lap and the world became glass

like bitterness i hold of her deep in my heart

we

became

n

othing

and i would describe to you the pain, that i felt when you pulled out my hair and pulled the handbrake up

"when we met on a dare you said. you said 'i could different tomorrow when i wake up."

well now tomorrow is today and its all flying away past the window she pulled up the brake

i would describe to you how it felt when i hit the wheel

but you'll never understand how little i feel