Chapter Five

***This chapter features a scene which may not be suitable for those uncomfortable with violence or sex.***

 

Chapter Five

 

            When Molly finally went inside, she opted to sleep on the sofa in the living room. She didn't bother to first stop in the bedroom to change; she didn't want to see Brian and she certainly didn't want a reenactment of what had happened outside. If she had gone upstairs she would've seen him lying in bed with a bottle of wine, drunkenly looking over a collection of vacation photos from that summer. If she had gone to their bedroom she would have seen him drink himself stupid, then slowly get out of bed. And if she had been there, she probably would have been able to prevent what was next to come.

            Sophie, as everyone else, had not witnessed the fight between her parents. Nor had she any idea that tonight they weren't even sleeping together. She was still seething over her own fight with Brian so much that she didn't even want to hear his name much less his voice.

            As she settled into an uncomfortable sleep, still angry, she thought of Brian and tried hard to remember whatever she could of her natural father.

            Sometime later she was awoken by the over powering and nauseating smell of alcohol and aftershave. Brian's aftershave.

            She opened her eyes, squinting into the darkness. "Daddy – what are you doing here?" She asked, switching on the bedside lamp.

            "I came to see you, honey," he said, closing and locking the bedroom door.

            She sat up, pulling her legs up against her chest. "What are you talking about?" She asked wearily.

            "I was just thinking," he replied sadly. "That my little girl is a woman now." He put a hand on her knee.

            "Daddy, have you been drinking?" She asked nervously, though she knew full well that he had been. "Daddy, maybe you should go to bed."

            He shook his head, running a hand through his tousled hair. Then he focused his green eyes on her.

            "You look so beautiful, baby," he said, reaching out and lightly running his fingertips over her cheek. His hand traveled down to her shoulder, then down her arm and he grabbed her blanket, yanking it off of her.

            "Stop!" She yelped, struggling to cover herself with her hands. She was only wearing a pair of underwear with a long t-shirt that fell to her thighs.

            "Shhh," Brian said, bringing a finger to his lips. "There's nothing to be scared of, honey – I'm your father."

            And then he did something that would ensure Sophie would remember this night. He leaned forward and planted a kiss right on her lips.

            "Mmmm," he murmured, pulling away. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

            She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "What are you –?"

            He silenced her by clamping his hand over her mouth. "Quiet," he whispered. "I promise you'll like it, honey." Then he kissed her again, despite her writhing body and moans of protest.

            His hands traveled up her shirt and over her budding breasts. She struggled to push him away but when he didn't move, she brought her knee up and into his groin.

            He pulled away briefly to grimace in pain but before she could get away he pushed her onto her back.

            "Stop," she pleaded, tears streaming down her face now. "Please Daddy, stop. This – this isn't right."

            "Shhh," he cooed. "Of course this is right. It's the way it's supposed to be, baby. You'll never trust a boy like you trust your daddy." His hands moved over her body again, slipping into the waistband of her underwear.

            She whimpered, trying to squirm away. "Please," she sobbed.

            "Quiet," Brian replied, his voice more stern this time. "I would never do anything to hurt you, you know that. I'm your father – you can trust me." He unbuckled his belt, and then his pants.

            "Please," she said again. "Please stop – I promise I won't tell anyone."

            One of his hands roughly covered her mouth as the other yanked down her panties. Only her muffled cries, which were getting louder, stopped him.

            He looked at her sharply. "Stop it," he snapped. "You make one more sound and I'll – I'll tell your mother all about this. And she'll hate you, Sophie. She'll hate you for seducing her husband, and then she'll send you away. You can bet on it."

            She stopped whimpering, her eyes wide with fear. She hadn't thought about that – she hadn't considered that her mother would be angry with her if he touched her. But the way he said it, how sure he was, frightened her into silence.

            He smiled, removing his palm from her mouth long enough to kiss her.

            "Please Daddy," she said quickly. "Please, don't."

            He gazed down at her for a moment before bringing his hand back and slapping her hard. "That's enough," he said harshly. "Do you want me to smack you again? Do you want someone to come in here and see you like this? They would be so disappointed in you Sophie." He roughly pulled off her panties, rolled them into a ball, and shoved them into her mouth. "Not another sound," he warned.

            And then, before she could even try to plead with him again, he pulled down his pants and forced himself into her.

            Sophie whimpered, tears streaming down her face as she squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to wake from what she desperately hoped was a dream. But when she opened them he was still there, his lustful eyes boring into her, his hot breath on her face, and his scent – the smell she would forever remember as only his.

            As he rammed into her, holding her hands tight above her head, she screamed inside. The pain was so great she could hardly stand it and the mere thought of what was happening was too shocking to bear. This was wrong, she knew that, but how could she allow it to happen? Why did she have to run around in short shorts and flimsy sundresses?   

He was right, she thought miserably. I brought this upon myself. This is my fault. I must have seduced him, like he said. And because of that, she could never tell anyone. Her shame was too great.

            The following morning, she woke up early after a restless sleep. The first thing she noticed was the stickiness between her legs. She pulled back the covers and stared in horror at the dried blood on her inner thighs and sheet.

            The next thing she noticed was the dull ache between her legs as she stood up. Instantly, everything from the previous night came rushing back to her. She fell to the floor, sobbing. It was as if, by memory, she was experiencing it all over again. She desperately hoped that she wouldn't always feel this way, that in time she might be able to forget. But one thing was for sure – unless she was in charge somehow, she'd never allow herself to be touched by a man again.

            In August their vacation came to an end. The rest of the summer had progressed rather slowly, with Jillian and Oliver increasingly confused by Sophie's sudden change in behavior. While before she had appeared to like him so much, now Oliver could barely get her to look directly at him.

            "What's wrong with her?" He asked Jillian, hoping for some answers.

            She merely shrugged, as dumbfounded as he. "I have no idea, Ollie. She hasn't told me a thing."

            He frowned. "It's just that things were going so good. And then all of a sudden she changed."

            "Maybe it's puberty," she said hopefully.

            "Yeah, maybe," he mused. "I just hope things go back to normal soon."

            But they didn't. Somehow things had changed immensely and although he had no idea why, he still loved her all the same.

            As they packed to go home, Brian sat down on the bed and beckoned Molly to do the same. Ever since their fight, he'd been making a conscious effort to mend things and despite herself, she was falling in love with him all over again. He was suddenly the man she remembered marrying and since she had no real desire to be alone, she conveniently forgot all about the issues she had with him before.

            "I've been thinking," he said, "and when we get back home, maybe we should start trying for a baby."

            "Really?" She said, unable to hide the surprise in her voice. When they'd gotten married he had made it clear that raising Sophie was enough for them and that he had little time to bring up another child from birth. "But I thought –."

            "I know, I know. But that was before I realized how much I'd love to have children with you." He took her hands into his. "Can you imagine how beautiful our child would be? And with Sophie going to high school in a year, the house will be empty a lot of the time."

            She smiled slowly. "Alright. Okay, Brian, let's do it. Let's try for a baby."

            He laughed, kissing her. "Oh sweetheart, things are going to be so great from now on. It's going to be a new beginning for us."

            In the hallway outside their room, Sophie had heard everything and it disgusted and confused her. How could her mother go from hating Brian to loving him so quickly? It didn't make sense and it just wasn't fair. She wished she could tell her what he'd done, but everything he'd said still loomed fresh in her mind. She couldn't tell her mother and now things were going to be even more complicated with another child coming.

            Ever since that fateful night Brian hadn't come to her room again. He hadn't even spoken more than two words to her at a time. Never again did he mention what had happened in her bedroom and he certainly wasn't the loving, albeit strangely close father he had been before. It was if, now that he'd had her, he was done with her – disgusted with her even. She couldn't understand why he'd done it or why he didn't love her anymore but she knew it was her fault somehow.

            Sophie knew now that she was going to be alone, more or less. With no one but Oliver and Jillian. But even they couldn't know her burdening secret. She was stuck with it, alone and with nothing and no one to giver her any true solace.