a minor tragedy.

Hazy nights in living rooms and on front lawns
In garages and on bedroom floors
With starlight in our hair and whiskey on our tongues
I remember a hand on my shoulder and lips at my ear
As you told me all the things that scared you about me,
How much it hurt to love so deeply so quickly
Like a physical scar cut deep through your chest,
I tried to tell you what it meant to love me
Tried to tell you to run far and fast
But you let your hand slip to my neck and your lips to mine
And it was too late by then
So I let myself slip inside you, let you soak me up like moonlight
Until I ran through your veins like a poison

Reviews

[Rane Miller]

It's lacking grammar throughout which you may want to consider in a future edit if you choose to do so.

I like the premise of it. The tone is dark and reeks of self-degradation (not in a bad way). The last line is cliche and I think replacing it would strengthen the poem but that's just my opinion. Overall I thought it was pretty good.

[dawn aulis]

Very moving