Dirty

it's been 9 years

You happened to be at the bar I was at.

I had nervously given my ID and overcame questioning.

I wasn't supposed to be there. 

I thought you were helping your friend out.

me too.

I thought that I was being friendly.

who knew?

But, you knew my real age.

yours too.

You saw me tense when you told me your profession.

"Relax" you said nudging me, 

“I'm off-duty”.

Does that mean with everything?

I noticed a shift when you started to buy me drinks.

You told me about your life and your ex-wife.

I just listened. 

I remember you said we could get married with my parents permission.

Thats when I knew.

What happened next was unexpected, and I really didn’t know what to do.

I remember the force of your body on mine.

How the stubble felt on my face.

scratchy and unnatural.

I remember when your hand slipped down.

At 14, I had never been touched there before.

I froze.

 

What did you really expect me to do?

The next few days I hated myself. 

and of course, 

you too.

I only forgave myself recently

for all this freedom I gave you.

I shouldn't have been there. 

I should have known better.

I should have told someone.

All of the shame I went through.

After all this time...

you've probably tried to forget about it.

me too

me too

me too

Author's Note

please be mindful in the comments, although the healing has been done - this is a very sensitive subject.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

Most dark poems speak of sensitive subjects, and I have to say, despite some questions I have, which I can't seem to answer concretely from reading the text, I was amazed at this. Great flow, great narrative, powerful and profound all around. Well done. And my condolences for having had to go through that.

[Vin]

You could've titled 'me too'

Good rhymes. made me read it again!