She cared too much about him and not enough about herself

What would you feel if you were watching yourself die?

As I watched her lifeless body bleed out something struck me, a sudden realisation  I knew this girl, the one that was sprawled across the floor in a pool of her own blood. I recall knowing her quite well once but we lost touch, she was in a bad place at the time. she was self-destructing and I left because I couldn't stand by and watch someone I knew so well ruin herself yet here I am now watching her leave this world. the last little piece of her that was left was disappearing. she did not do this because she wanted to. she did this because she was forced to. the people she once loved, family, friends they pushed her closer to this every single day. there was that one person who pushed her over the edge, he was one of the only people she truly cared about, the only person keeping her alive, keeping her from doing what she had just done. she loved him with all her heart but he didn't care about her. that crushed her inside.I remember her always being happy when she was around him even after he clearly stated that he didn't  love her she couldn't hate him, to her he was perfect and honestly he had done nothing wrong. she tried to find others to fill the void he left in her heart but no one compared. she tried to get over him but all she could hear were the voices in her head telling her she wasn't good enough for him and that she'd never be truly good enough for anyone.suddenly it hit me. breaking my train of thought, the girl I was watching die, the one I remember knowing. it was me. she was me after the heartbreak, the betrayal and the underestimation. she was me after I got so lost in my own downward spiral that I couldn't be pulled out. As I continued to watch myself die I was filled with sadness but there was a twitch of satisfaction.

-Incurableangel

Reviews

[Mike]

It is very brave to share this story and I truly hope that you are not considering being that girl! Your writing is very good. I'm sure that lots of people will recognise themselves in your story. Thanks for sharing.