Young Love

Jacob has taken Aron to a birthday party when suddenly his dad instincts are kicked into overdrive, Aron's doing WHAT?!?!

Young Love

    Today had been pretty boring until Aron decided that girl was worth his time. Really I’m putting serious money on my kid being that guy in school with the swagger to pick up a garbage truck with only a bottle of water and a hair flip.

    Things started normal enough, get up, get dressed, get food, get going, but today we were headed somewhere new. Alexander’s Playhouse. “The Funnest Castle in the East!” as their website proudly proclaimed. It was pretty much just a Chucky Cheese but with much better hygiene. We were going there for a birthday party, one of the kids in the building was turning seven and Aron was just dying to give him life advice.

    Why does everyone listen to my kid? I wondered as I drove, looking back at the excited child balancing a brightly wrapped package on his lap. Does his ‘talk like ya know stuff’ tactic really work? I’ll have to try it out sometime …

    We made it to the party and Aron was having a grand ol’ time and, being the oldest kid there at a whopping eight years, was leaning against a wall, wearing my sunglasses, and saying things like:

    “Yeah, I’ve ridden a horse before, but whatever, ya know?”

and

    “Dude, you should see the stuff in my classroom, we’ve got a rabbit ‘cause bunnies are for kids.” And those poor little suckers were hanging on his every word, despite him being spotted squealing at the mere thought of a kitten in a little pair of rain boots.

    But whatever, ya know?

    Now we were sitting down and enjoying some pizza. The other kids had left Aron alone in favor of standing in front of a camera so they could appear on the giant tv that was set up over the eating area. I had been starting on my second slice of pizza when Aron abruptly put his slice down and casually stated:

    “Bet I could fit my whole fist in my mouth.” I looked up from my pizza and gave him an amused look. This was gonna be fun.

    “Oh yeah? How much?”

    “Eight. Pennies.” I whistled.

    ‘Ridin’ a little high there, aren’t ya Buddy?” Aron raised his head in a small show of defiance.

    “I live high, Dad.” I snorted and motioned to him with my food.

    “Alright, Buddy, knock yourself out. I’m about to be eight pennies richer.” I took a smug chomp of pizza and watched in amusement as Aron started off on the hard task of fitting his whole fist into his mouth, a feat which I doubt he can actually achieve. As I watched I started to get suspicious. Why was Aron doing this? Sure it’s not the first time we’ve made such a bet, but why now? He usually pulls a stunt like this when he’s really bored and we’ve got nothing better to do other than sit in silence. I furrowed my brow and was trying to think of a good reason when I suddenly noticed Aron’s eyes flicking to the left every so often behind my glasses. I followed the occasional glance and found myself looking at a small girl, her brown hair tied up in long, curly pigtails. She played with the hem of her nice white dress and watched Aron, seemingly in a trance. She released her skirt and looked at her own fist, like she was trying to decide if she wanted to attempt Aron’s powerful feat. She must have decided against it though, seeing as she let her hand fall back to her dress. She was completely enraptured by my son’s performance.

    No, I thought, no way is my kid trying to win the heart of a girl via fist eating, this just isn’t happening.

    I looked back and forth between my son and his admirer because this was indeed happening. My son was hitting on a girl with his fist in his mouth. This was too good. Am I allowed to videotape someone else’s kid if this is my reason? I bit my lip to keep from laughing and looked over to George, another parent, and hit him on the arm lightly. He gave me a bit of an angry look that was easily ignored. I motioned to my kid, who was up to his knuckles, and the girl and watched as George glanced back and forth between them trying to figure out what I meant. A smile started to grow on the older man’s face and he threw me a knowing look. I scoffed at the situation and he chuckled, George leaned over and whispered in my ear.

    “Just wait ‘til he’s a teenager. I’ve got one of those and he’s a damn nightmare with girls!” George leaned back into his seat and shrugged, I rolled my eyes and whispered back.

    “Oh please, Aron’ll be fine, what’s he gonna do? Get a girl pregnant?” I laughed quietly as I leaned back in my chair and George responded with another knowing smile and a shrug. I thought over what been said between us and my face paled.

    “That was a joke Georgie, I was kidding.” I insisted lowly. He just smiled and turned back to his wife, May, I quickly hit his shoulder to get his attention again

    “George no. I was kidding. That’s not going to happen.” George smiled again.

    “Alright, Jay. Whatever helps you sleep at night.” He winked at me and looked back to May. I blinked in horror at the thought of Aron knocking some girl up and nearly had a heart attack when I looked back to where my son had been sitting only to find the chair empty. I looked over to where the little girl had been standing so fast I’m sure I got whiplash, only to find her gone too. I scanned the room in a panic and finally spotted the two kids playing one of those “shoot the aliens” games together, Aron had his arms wrapped around the girl and was showing her how to shoot. I quickly stood up from my seat and started over there. I guess I wasn’t the only paranoid parent in the building, though, seeing as another man was making quick work of walking over to the two children as well. We reached the kids at about the same time.

    “Millie!” The other man cried cheerfully. His pearly whites were drawn up into the best “someone drug my balls through a mile of broken glass” smile I think I’ve ever seen. “Who’s your new friend?” The young girl, Millie, took a break from the screen and looked at the man.

    “This is my boyfriend Daddy!” She squealed. “He’s the best!” Aron sent me a proud look.

    “It’s so cool you guys are here!” He said happily. “Now we’ve both met the family! Silly Millie was worried about how it would go, but I think things are going swell!” He looked back to the game and Millie’s dad and I shared pained looks.

    Met the family? Silly Millie! Good God, they’ve already got pet names!

    Millie’s dad gulped. “So, you two are a thing?” He asked. It sounded like he wanted someone to tell him otherwise.

    “Yep!” Millie cried in delight, despite her father’s prayers. “Daddy, Aron is so sweet! He says he’s gonna buy me something at the ticket counter!” She smiled as their game finished and Aron counted up the tickets. He smiled too and looked at her, his eyes gleaming.

    “And guess what Silly! I’ve got enough tickets now for the present!” Millie squealed and jumped up and down, clapping in excitement. “You go wait for me there, kay?” Millie nodded and ran off eagerly. Aron turned to look at us, his face suddenly serious.

Oh no, I pleaded mentally, please, God, no. Don’t let him ask!

“Mr. Glasser? I have something I want to ask you.” I looked at the man beside me, Mr. Glasser apparently, in a panic and judging by the look on his face, he was thinking the same thing I was.

“I wanted to ask you for your blessing to marry Millie. I love her with all my heart and, even though I’ll marry her with or without your permission, having your blessing would mean a lot to both of us.” Mr. Glasser stumbled and looked about ready to pass out. I caught him by the arm and gave him my best we’ll-get-through-this-together look. He nodded, appreciating my moral support, and looked back at my son. He really didn’t understand all the stress he was putting us under right now, I might get an ulcer.

“Look, Aron, you seem like a really nice kid, but aren’t you two a little young to be getting married?” Aron shook his head.

“Age is but a number, Sir, and when you love someone as much as I love your daughter, that number means even less.” He started to walk away as Mr. Glasser and I watched. The man stood up right suddenly and shot me an accusing glare.

“Why didn’t you say anything!” He demanded. “He’s your kid, what the hell man!” I blinked and shook my head, muttering a small “Uhhh,” and Glasser blanched.

“You’re an only father, aren’t you?” I nodded dumbly, not sure how that mattered, and Glasser slapped himself in the face. “Oh God, of course you are! No kid with a mom would ever just go in like that!” He looked up at the sky “My daughter’s husband comes from a broken home, what’s that gonna mean for the kids!” I frowned, this guy was getting way too into this.

“Hey hold up, what’s that supposed to--” He cut me off.

“Sorry, sorry. I just,” He sighed. “I get insulting when I panic, just ask my wife. Really I think-” He was interrupted by a loud shriek of joy. We both turned around and watched as our kids ran by with a big piece of paper. They bolted to the camera and we watched in horror as they both held up the paper to show that it read:

“Were Gettin Maryed!”

The patrons all let out a bunch of “Awwws!” while Glasser and I let out twin groans of agony, I could see a woman laugh and look back at us. She smiled at Glasser and laughed again at his expression.

Guess that’s his wife.

I looked back at the large television and the two kids, Millie was showing her large, purple, plastic ring off to the camera, Aron was looking proud as he kissed Millie’s cheek (More “Awwws!” ensued), and a bunch of girls ran over and started to crowd Aron’s new fiancé. They looked really happy.

I let out a sigh and looked over at Glasser. “Well, at least they’re happy together?” He glared at me.

“That doesn’t make me feel better.” I sighed.

“Yeah, me neither.” More silence.

…

“He owes me eight cents now, though, so that’s something.”

The End

Author's Note

Ah yes, isn't love wonderful? Remember that anything you say helps and I hope you enjoyed the story at least a little bit!