My Son the Psychopath

Once upon a time, three men tried to break into the Ronley Estate and one of them was traumatized for life by a small boy while his family watched and laughed.

My Son the Psychopath

    James is a complete a*****e, but every once in awhile he’ll do something right. Like put cameras in every room of the house and have a secret base set up where he can monitor them all, or buy a giant rottweiler, give it a sweet name, and teach how to incapacitate a man in the safest, most horrifying and effective way.

    It had been a nice, quiet Sunday evening, dinner had been finished a while ago and I, like my brothers and Gramps, was all snuggled up in bed, ready for a long peaceful sleep when James had come in and asked me to follow him. I had been pissed, sure, but I was more confused because it had turned out that he had actually woken everybody up, not just me, and taken them to a small room hidden in his closet.

    “So this is why your closet is so small!” Ray said in amazement, looking in wonder at all screens that were set up around the large room.

    “Really?” Tom asked, unimpressed. “Really that’s what you have to say. You just find out that our dad has been watching us with secret cameras for our whole lives and all you have to say is ‘I thought that closet was too small!’” He put his hands on his hips and shook his head, smiling as he looked at all the screens. “‘This makes so much sense to me now.’” Ray smiled and saluted Tom, he looked like he was about to say something when James interrupted the conversation.

    “That’s not what I wanted you all to see. Three men have broken into the house.” My heart jolted.

    “WHAT? Where’s Aron!” I started to go for the door, but James grabbed my arm and held me back.

    “That’s what I wanted to show you, Jacob, come look at this.” He turned me around and led me to a black screen, he powered it on and I nearly fainted. Because there was my son, sitting safe and sound in the kitchen. Once I had computed the fact that, yep, my son is safe, I started to look at his surroundings and nearly fainted again

    My son was sitting at the kitchen table with Charlie the rottweiler sitting at attention to his right and a brunette man dressed in black sitting right across from him. Two other men laid unconscious on the floor nearby. There was a puddle of blood forming around them. Aron had an angry smile on his face, the kind of smile you see in cartoons when the evil kid finally captures some poor creature he wants to torture.

    “So, what’s your name mister?” The man across the table gulped and his eyes flicked over to his friends in the corner.

    “P-Phil, kid.” Aron giggled.

    “Nice to meet you mister Phil Kid! I’m Aron.” My son reached across the table and grabbed a cracker off a plate that I hadn’t noticed was there and began to nibble at it. Phil’s eyes looked at his friends again. I nearly threw up when I saw him reach for something he had hidden at his hip.

    The lucky thing was, Charlie noticed too.

    A deep growl seeped through the computer speakers and Charlie stood up and got ready to attack. Aron didn’t look up from his cracker.

    “Now now, Chi Chi. There’s no need for that. This is a nice tea party, isn’t it Sir.” It wasn’t a question. A pair of bright blue eyes, usually so happy and giggly, were now full of anger and warning. One word from him and Phil is laying in a puddle of blood just like his friends. Phil probably thought they were dead. He gulped, whimpered, and nodded obediently. I looked back at James and saw him watching with an odd sort of pride in his eyes. I turned back to the screen and saw Charlie bringing the gun over to Aron. Aron took the gun from the dog and smiled.

    “Aw, thanks, Chi Chi!” He looked back at Phil. “He’s such a sweet puppy, isn’t he?” Phil nodded and tried not to cry. Aron inspected the gun and put the safety on, he set it on the table quietly and then the tea kettle, another thing I hadn’t noticed, started to whistle.

    “Oh, how lovely, the water’s ready.” He smiled a bit brighter and hopped off his chair. He scurried over to the stove and climbed up the small step-ladder that Gramps got him for when he wants to help with dinner. Aron gently plucked the kettle off the stove and set it down on the table. He smiled kindly at his party guest (read: captive).

    “You want some tea?” Phil worked his mouth nervously.

    “Look kid. You need to head off to bed now.” He tried for a convincing smile. “Little boys shouldn’t be up this late.”  Aron’s sweet features snapped into something scary.

    “That’s not what I asked.” He snarled. “I asked if you wanted tea.” Phil frowned at my son and gathered his nerve.

    “Alright, kid, that’s enough. You need to go now. I’m done playing. Leave.” Aron snarled more.

    “You listen to me-” He started to sneer, but Phil cut him off.

    “No, you listen you little-” Aron promptly lost his s**t.

    “DO NOT INTERRUPT ME!” He shrieked. “I INVITE YOU TO MY TEA PARTY AND YOU THINK IT’S A GOOD IDEA TO INSULT ME!” Charlie started to bark and growl, he looked about ready to chew good ol’ Phil’s head off. Phil stood up in surprise and Aron jumped up on the table so the two could be slightly level. He grabbed the tea kettle, still filled with burning hot water, and slammed it into Phil’s head giving him at least a second-degree burn, some of the water spilled onto his left temple. A chorus of “Oooooh”s rose up from my side of the screen.

    “SIT DOWN!” My dear son demanded. Phil crumpled into his seat and held his injured temple. Aron grabbed the man by his hair and yanked him so that they were looking into each other’s eyes. Aron looked like the Devil. “YOU WANT SOME TEA!” He inquired. “HUH? HUH, PHIL? DOES TEA SOUND GOOD?” Phil choked out a sob and nodded. Charlie was still growling murderously. Aron put the kettle down and hopped off the table. He moved his step-ladder to the cabinet where the cups were kept and grabbed a pair of tea cups and saucers. I heard Gramps gasp in horror behind me at the thought of Phil or Aron breaking one of his precious cups, it really says something about our family when that’s the scariest thing he’s seen so far.

    Aron marched over to the table again and placed a tea cup and saucer at both places, then he walked over to the drawer where the tea was kept and glared at Phil.

    “What type do you want.” He demanded. “We have green, yellow, black, Earl Gray, oolong, and honeysuckle. Grampy finished the white tea earlier today.” Phil whimpered out a small “Green please,” and Aron grabbed a bag. He snatched up a bag of oolong for himself and walked back towards Phil. His eyes didn’t leave the terrified man’s as he poured the water in the dainty cup and dipped the bag in and out a few times.

“Be careful with this, it’s my Grampy’s” He humphed. Aron stopped working on Phil’s tea and prepared his own cup before walking to the cabinet under the sink and grabbing Charlie a biscuit. Phil looked from his tea to Aron and back again as Aron began to take small sips of oolong. He peered over the rim of his cup at Phil.

    “What,” He snapped. “Do I have to give you permission?” My kid was so done with this guy’s s**t it was hilarious. Phil took a few scared sips of his green tea.

    They sat there and finished their cups of tea, Aron making small talk with Phil as he drank (apparently the guy was from Nevada and he moved here with his girlfriend a few years back). After the tea was all gone Aron walked over to the wireless house phone that was set up on the wall. He used his step-ladder again to reach it and then set it on the table in front of Phil.

    “Don’t. Touch.” He growled. Aron grabbed the tea cups and rinsed them out before gently setting them, and the saucers, in the dishwasher and repeating the steps with the, now empty, tea kettle. He walked back to his seat and sat, staring Phil down from across the table.

    “Okie dokie, Phil. This is what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna turn off the kitchen light, I’m gonna walk upstairs, I’m gonna go to bed, and then, five minutes after I’ve left, Chi Chi’s gonna attack you. And you’re gonna get hurt. I personally think it might be best if you just let him have at it, things will go a lot faster, but you can run if you’d like. After Chi Chi’s done you call 911 and tell the nice person who answers the phone that you’re trapped in a house with a scary dog and you can’t get out. You’ll tell that nice person that you and your friends snuck in and were attacked. You did not sit and have tea with me and I did not hit you. If you stray from this plan, Phil, then my family will have to call 911 for you.” I whistled in appreciation of the threat. “Do you understand, Phil?” Phil whimpered and nodded, eyeing Charlie out of the corner of his eye. Aron nodded and hopped off his chair, he yawned and rubbed at his eye, suddenly my sweet little boy once more.

    “Alrighty then Phil, it was nice meeting you. Night night.” Aron plodded out of the kitchen and turned off the light. The screen went black as he did so. I turned to look at James.

    “We saw nothing.” He informed. “The rooms are soundproofed so we never heard any screams. We’re all just lucky that we have such a great dog to keep us safe.” He turned and began to leave the room.

“Now go to bed.” He grunted. “It’s late.”

The End

Author's Note

I bet you're really glad this was more "holy shit what happened" and less "aww a bad thing happened to this nice family." Or maybe you're not I don't know, either way, I hoped you enjoyed the story at least a little bit, any comments are helpful!!!