Global Warming, Sex and Vampires

The poem below contains words that may make little sense to people not acquainted with modern day trends. My apologies.

 

Global Warming, Sex and Vampires

 

When I was a child, gay was a synonym for happy.

And weed was a plant, well I guess it still is.

And of course, life centred on things other than facebook

and twitter, and games I still have no clue about. Hell call me blunt

but I’m damn well proud to be a noob.

 

That’s one of those blasted new words making the rounds

Urban dictionary they call it, and like it you better

Your social acceptance depends on it.

God forsaken gurus of cars and automobiles hog my home feed

See I’m doing it too, go with the flow yo

and they’ve modified Corollas to mime sports cars

Schumacher? Look around- they roam the streets you and I hope to conquer.

They say louder the noise better the car, well that does suck

‘cause the noisiest automobile I know, is a brick laden truck.

Everyone’s a radical; everyone’s a pundit when it comes to football

Who cares if you haven’t kicked a ball in your life?

Act like you have, and talk like you have. Predict, comment, analyze

And they sure as hell, will think you wise.

 

Music, and all The Beatles did with their talents a computer can do

lyrics, who needs words? Oh you old fashioned fool!

Trance is in vogue and beat boxing and dubstep remixes

Guetta Tiesto Skrillex, play that Akon number where he just had sex.

Ah sex, and not the distinction of gender-

we’ve become rabbits my friend, and we’re obsessed by it.

Global warming is caused by too much sex, mark my words-

or talks of it, hell all that air has to go somewhere!

Everyone loves drugs, everyone’s a Marley

except the idealism, that’s too hard. And Che is but a motif

Dylan an idol, vampires all the rage-

everyone knows all about life, everyone’s a sage.

Art has been reduced to edited photography, I do it too

Literature confined to rag tag teen fiction where

authors write of vampires and humans falling in love.

Girls devour it, all you need is a sappy line or two-

If you were Bella, I Cullen, shall die for you.

Everyone’s an artist, everyone can write

Photoshop makes a black girl white.

And books are out of fashion, the good ones at least

if Meyer's a beauty then Rushdie is the beast.

 

Well television’s a bunch of below par serials

where a writer solves all the crimes and housewives murder husbands

the audience is desperate, their desperation is ‘Supernatural’

do ‘Touch’ their hearts or all shall be ‘Lost.’

Why look to the west, I’ll tell you damn why

Have you seen the shows this country comes up with?

The best entertainment we have is leaders tearing each other’s hair out.

Ah leaders, why we have quite a few of them-

And they all know how to win a Nobel, it’s part of the job description didn’t you know?

Our movies (not the political ones what were you thinking!)-

well cinema has seen better days. And directors, except an odd one or two

are clearly in the wrong profession, or without a clue.

 

English, it’s the way of the world

And when mated with Bangla makes quite a mix

writewithoutspaces and punctuations, it’s the ‘kewl’ thingtodo

Oh you b*****d, stop making up your own language!

It sickens me, and call me hypercritical for all I care

call me daft, call me a hypocrite, call me what you want

I stop only when you stop hogging my home feed

with pictures of your garish pink corolla.