passion

 

she burns with passion
passion for life
passion for love
passion for the things she never thinks she will find
she plays with fire
fire that burns away her fears
fire that burns away her past
fire that burns away all she cares about
she walks the tight rope of life between safety and absolute isolation
safety from the looks
safety from the misery
safety from a broken heart
she shuts us out and locks herself away making herself safe from everyone....

except,

herself

Reviews

[Nykkiicia Cion]

Great job, but I think maybe some of ur lines are too long and because of this, it loses some of its power. For example, I would have done this:

she walks the tight rope of life
between safety and
absolute isolation

By doing this, it creates a pause and, therefore, more effect. Isolating 'absolute isolation' increases the imagery of the entire sentence through the simple placement of the phrase. I get that maybe that's what you did by putting isolation in a line by itself...but I think pairing it with 'absolute' emphasises just how alone the girl feels. Also, by limiting the line to 'she walks the tight rope of life', u also increase the sharpness of the image and readers begin to relate to exactly how much of a tight rope life is...

Hope I was helpful?

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

' safe from everyone except herself'.. we cannot run away from ourselves tho we sometimes try..
I think this is sad .. but i feel if a person has passion for whatever they do in life it is good .. nice poem .

Chloe
xoxo

[Alicia Isabella Lane]

Wow ... this is so powerful. I loved it. Excellent work!!!

[NJ Schneider]

I reall enjoyed this. My favorite lines:
she walks the tight rope of life between safety and absolute isolation
safety from the looks
safety from the misery
safety from a broken heart

Great job! Welcome to WC.

Much Love,

Caine