This is Why I Don't Socialize

A Chapter by Izzy

Paulie

“What should I wear?” I ask Louis from the closet. He doesn’t answer. “What should I wear?” I ask, louder this time.

“I dunno Pauls, you’re the fashion princess, not me.” He replies.

“You’re really no help you know that?” I ask.

“Just wear what you wore to classes today it’s not a big deal,” he tells me.

“It is a big deal! This is my chance to finally make some friends!” I declare.

“What am I chopped liver?” He asks.

“Sorry. That’s not what I meant.” I clarify. “What do you think of this?” I ask, stepping out of the closet. I’m wearing some light blue, straight leg jeans, and a dark brown and tan plaid cardigan. I have a white tank shirt underneath and a gold chain necklace. Louis whistles.

“You should never doubt your own abilities mate.”

“Thanks.” I smile.

“You better get going before they leave without you.” He says. I nod. “And try to have some fun ok?” He asks.

“I’ll try.” I tell him. I walk down the hall to Room 115. I knock on the door.

“Come on in!” I hear Lochlann call. I open the door to see my roommates, Ezra and Joss sitting on the couch with Lochlann and two other guys.

“Hey Pauls!” Ezra smiles.

“Come sit with us for a second!” Lochlann says, motioning for me to sit down. “Paulie, this is Ollie and James.” He introduces us.

“Nice to meet ya Paulie,” Ollie says, holding out his hand for me to shake.

“Likewise.” I reply, taking his hand.

“You lot ready to head to Somerbury?” Ezra asks.

“You all go ahead. I’m gonna grab something and I’ll meet you there.” Ollie informs us, walking out of the dorm room.

“Alright let’s go!” Lochlann says, walking towards the library.

“Why are we going to the library?” James asks.

“You’ll find out in a minute sunshine.” Lochlann tells him. He walks up to a bookcase and pulls a book down slightly. I hear a gear shift behind the wall.

“What the bloody hell is that?” I ask.

“A secret passage,” Ezra replies, smirking.

“What is this f*****g Harry Potter?” James asks. Lochlann laughs.

“Just wait til you see the spiral staircase.” Joss tells us. We walk through a pitch-black walkway, with only Ezra’s phone light to guide us. I walk face first into a cobweb.

“Oh f****n’ hell,” I spit, wiping my face quickly. We walk onto a large, sandstone walkway, lit by lanterns. “Whoa,” I breathe.

“C’mon guys!” Joss urges, running down the staircase. I follow him as he speeds down the staircase. He stops at a trapdoor. He pulls an old master key out of his pant pocket, and unlocks the door. I peer down into the abyss to see a metal ladder leading down there.

“Oh hell no there is no way you’re getting me to go down there into that death hole.” James says, peering over my shoulder. Ezra chuckles and starts to climb down the ladder. I hear a thud and there was a quick pause before I see a phone light shining up at us. Lochlann goes next, followed by Joss.

“C’mon you two!” Lochlann urges. I take a deep breath and take hold of the railing. The rungs were freezing enough to give my fingers frostbite. I climb down a few steps and jump down, landing with a thud. “Alright, your turn sunshine!” Lochlann says to James. James shakes his head in refusal. “You scared?” He teases.

“No,” James argues, rolling his eyes. He grabs onto the rungs for dear life, moving down the ladder slowly. He jumps down. “That was terrifying.” He mutters.

“Hurry up ya tossers,” Ezra complains, walking further into the dark.

“Are we almost there?” I ask. Ezra doesn’t answer, but he stops, feeling in front of him for something. I hear the turning of a door handle and the flicker of a switch before the lining of the ceiling is illuminated by pendant lights. A Budweiser l.e.d light hangs next to a fridge on the west wall, and frumpy bean bag chairs were scattered in a wonky circle around a table on the east side. Cricket bats and Manchester futbol posters line the walls, along with funny street signs. One read: Shitteron, Dorset, and another Twatt, Orkney. (yes these are real streets in England) A small flag of Great Britain hung in the middle of the north wall, with a ping pong table in front of it.

“Make yourselves at home lads,” Ezra says, walking over to the fridge. I take a seat in one of the bean bag chairs.

“Anyone up for a game of table tennis?” Joss asks.

“I’ll play.” James offers.

“I’ll play winner,” Lochlann claims. The door handle turns and the door swings open, revealing Ollie, with a bag slung over his shoulder.

“Whatcha got there Olls?” Ezra asks, taking a sip of his beer. He takes a box out of the bag, and the smell of fried chicken fills the air. He opens the box and eats a nugget.

“Do nugs not drugs motherfuckas,” Ollie says in an overexaggerated New York accent. I laugh. “Want a beer Pauls?” Ezra asks.

“That’d be great,” I reply, walking over to the fridge. He hands me a beer. “So what’s up with James and Locs?” I whisper to him.

“They’re both mad for each other. Everyone can tell. They’re just too chicken to ask each other out.” He answers, taking another sip.

“So what I’m hearing is that we need to get them to confess through a game.” I suggest.

“A brilliant idea Pauls. We have to get them drunk first though.” He adds.

“Oh yeah that’s a given.” I reply.

“What’re you two conspiring?” Joss asks, grabbing a beer from the fridge.

“We’re trying to get those two together.” Ezra informs him. Joss nods.

“Where’s the whiskey?” Ollie asks, taking a bite of another nugget.

“There’s some Highland Black Scotch in the cupboard.” Ezra tells him.

“F**k yeah I love that stuff!” He exclaims, walking over to the cupboard and grabbing a glass. He pours himself some. A smell similar to nail polish remover wafts through the air.

“That cheap stuff smells horrid!” I say, taking a swig of my drink.

“Only Paulie “Rich Boy” Gardener would call Highland Black cheap.” Ollie comments, taking a generous gulp of whiskey.

“The only thing cheaper is Fireball.” Joss tells him.

“Do I look like I give a frickle frackle?” He asks, taking another sip. Ezra and I laugh.

“How about a drinking game?” I suggest.

“Sounds fun,” Ezra says, getting out the red cups.

“What alcohol are we using?” Joss asks.

“Something strong I hope.” Ollie says, finishing off his drink.

“You’re an alcoholic,” Lochlann comments.

“This we all know,” Ollie replies. Ezra passes out the cups and we sit around the table.

“How about a game of never have I ever?” Joss suggests.

“We aren’t little teenage girls Joss,” Locs says, taking a sip of his drink.

“C’mon it’ll be fun!” Ezra urges.

“Fine.” Lochlann rolls his eyes.

“Alright. Never have I ever been over 1.62 meters.” Ollie smirks.

“Oliver that’s not how the game works.” Lochlann says.

“Don’t care. Drink up everyone.” Ollie says. Everyone takes a sip of their drink, including me.

“Never have I ever kissed a girl.” James says. Lochlann, Ezra, Joss, and Ollie drink.

“Never have I ever had a crush on a teacher.” I say with a smile. Joss drinks. Everyone busts into laughter.

“Who?” Ezra asks Joss.

“Everyone has to drink before I tell them.” Joss compromises. Everyone drinks. “Cyrus,” he says with a cough. Everyone laughs harder.

“My head’s starting to spin lads,” Ezra comments, rubbing his temples.

“Lightweight.” Ollie teases.

“Never have I ever skinny dipped.” Joss says. Lochlann, James, and Ezra drink. “I’m surprised you haven’t Olls.” Ollie shrugs.

“Never have I ever kissed a guy,” Joss asks. James, Lochlann, and I drink.

“Damnn.” Ezra whistles.

“It was on a dare.” I tell them.

“What was you twos reason?” Joss asks James and Lochlann. They both shrug.

“Awh c’mon tell us.” Ollie whines. Lochlann rolls his eyes.

“I was drunk and it was a spur of the moment thing.” He tells us.

“Same.” James tells us.

“Maybe if we get them drunk enough it’ll happen again.” Ezra whispers to me. I chuckle. “Never have I ever had a crush on anyone in this room,” Ezra says. James and Lochlann both drink.

“Never have I ever had a relationship shorter than 24 hours.” Ollie says. No one drinks. “I’m looking at you Locs.” he says.

“I haven’t had a relationship shorter than 24 hours!” He argues.

“B***h please, my phone battery lasts longer than most of your relationships.” Ollie comments.

“I’m done playing.” Lochlann says, going over to the other side of the room to the television. He turns it on to the football match.

“You take James I’ll butter up Locs.” Ezra whispers to Ollie. Ollie nods and slides into the seat next to James.

“So… you like Lochlann then?” Ollie asks him. He nods, turning redder than a beet. “So are you gonna make a move?”

“I dunno, I mean like how would I?” He asks.

“Well you could try kissing him.” Ollie suggests.

“I mean I could. But like what would I say after?” He asks.

“Don’t forget to like and subscribe?” He suggests. He facepalms.

“Not helpful.” James says.

“Sorry. I’ve never kissed a guy so I don’t know how it works dude.” Ollie admits. I laugh.

“So what exactly goes on in that mind of your’s Daniels?” I ask.

“I dunno. To tell the truth my mind’s a internet browser, there’s 17 tabs open, four are frozen, and I have no idea where the music is coming from.” He confesses. This only makes me laugh more.

“Okay, stop quoting cringey quotes from the internet. You got any suggestions Paulie?” James asks me.

“Well if you do end up kissing him, just compliment him after. Like his eyes or something. At least that’s what I do.” I recommend.

“That’s better than what Ollie suggested so I guess I’m going with that.” He decides. Lochlann walks over to us.

“James can we talk?”

“Uhm sure.” James gets up and they walk over to the television, away from everyone else. Ollie finishes off his drink and goes to get some more. I watch the two of them carefully, I couldn’t hear them, but I could sense the tension from across the room. Lochlann leans closer to James and whispers in his ear. James nods slightly and Lochlann rests his hand on James’ cheek, kissing him. Ezra cheers. James pulls away slightly and whispers something to Lochlann he nods, takes James’ hand and they run out of Somerbury.

“Mission accomplished!” Ollie says, doing a little happy dance.

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© 2023 Izzy

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Aura

This is so adorable! I enjoyed reading this short story! At first I thought it was going to be about a socially awkward girl going to her first party! But this defied my expectations, in a good way. This reminds me of so much of movies I watched, the two people who have the "hots" for each other, but are too afraid to make the first move. So what do their friends do? Play a fun game to loosen the tension! I enjoyed reading this, thank you for Sharing!!