THIS HOSPITAL IS NOT REAL

A Poem by imissyou

i am losing my mind more and more

THIS HOSPITAL IS NOT REAL.

My girlfriend made a joke in the group.
“Father Christmas isn’t real, sorry to spoil it guys!”
Everyone in the group laughed
that fake therapy laugh.
This made me unexplainably sad.
Her childhood sounded better than mine
and she isn’t my girlfriend.

My good friend of 15 years came to me and offered me a cigarette.
“Women ey? You can’t live with them and you can’t live without them”
I smiled.
This made my heart and mind sad.
His love life sounded better than mine.
This man was in the ward for 2 days and had murdered his wife of 15 years
and I was sucking on a pencil.

My parents came to visit.
“Our lives are so much better now, however we think of death a lot and we can’t seem to stop thinking of death and death is behind you ”
This made me manically sad.
Their lives sounded better than mine
and they weren’t my parents.

Please touch me I need to be touched.
But please don’t touch me,
I don’t want to be touch at the moment.