Forever and ever and ever and ever

My wish

would be for you

to come back to me

just one more time

I dream that you

are standing in front

of me

I can see your beautiful,

handsome face

I can see your sideways smile

your shy eyes

I can hear your giggle

that you try very hard to stifle

I see your brown eyes

peering back at me

I reach out to touch you

touching your face

a tear falls

from my eye

I just can't believe

you are standing in front of me

I have dreamt of this for so long

I hear your voice

"No regrets hun"

you touch my face

pulling my body close

you touch my hair

glancing at me all over

You have a tear falling down your cheek

because you know

you are going to have to leave me

It's not that you want to

but it was your time to leave earth

I feel your lips touch mine

a soft sweet kiss

passionate & one I will never forget

the taste of heaven

from where you came from

your breathe envelopes my senses

I melt

How I have wanted you

I have missed you

I love you

always & forever

Your arms wrap around my waist

my arms around your neck

holding on for dear life

or death, life, death

bitter sweet

I can't think about that

You have come from afar to be with me

never let me go

hold me tight

squeeze me into your soul

Your hand slides across my eye

a kiss on my forehead

I lay my head on your chest

I can hear you breathing

in, out, in, out

I close my eyes

holding this memory inside my eyes

never wanting to unsee this

Wanting to remember this feeling forever

I love you, you say

I love you babe

I didn't want to leave you before

Cancer knocked at the door

I tried to fight it off

as best I could

with you & my family

You all were there for me

that is what mattered most

I felt in my soul a tug 

I had to accept Jesus

I had to be in heaven one day

He promised me eternal life & new body

He knew that in order for us to be together

I had to accept him

He knew that I was to go

to help prepare us a place

Our mansion, a gift from him

in our promised land

I have to go back soon my love

I have to go home & make our home beautiful

for us

Please tell the kids I love them

Tell them I thought of them as mine

I know they weren't but my heart

knew no different

I know we dated a short time

& spent the rest of it as best friends

I wish to marry you one day

I want to be your husband

I will be baby

You will be with forever

I must go now

I feel God calling me home again

I clasp my arms tighter around his neck

No, I can't let you go

I lost you once

I can't lose you again

My love you have a life to live here he says

When it is your time

Jesus will come for you

I will stand at the gates

& welcome you home

You will live a long life

have many grandbabies

One will be named after me

I don't want to tell who will have it

I want that to be a surprise for you

a gift from God

God knows you want me hun

He knows I want to be with you

let me go home sweetheart

I must return

Please know I love you

I will never forget you

Don't forget me

You will marry again but he will just be on earth

I will be in heaven waiting for you

We will spend an eternity together..

An eternity in heaven

never ends

I love you, I must go now

Good bye my love

Good bye Paul

See you soon my dear

Have no fear

Be assured you are mine forever

I love you forever

& ever

& ever

& ever

Author's Note

Paul was my ex bf, bff & neighbor for 10 yrs... 1998 - 2008 He died at 40 yrs old on Thanksgiving Day. 16 hrs before dying he told me, he wished he wasn not dying because he would have married me.. I said no regrets, laid in his arms & kissed him. I left & he died the next morning while I sat in Church. 10:07 am he passed I felt him go. I looked at time & it was confirmed in a phone message to the church for me to say he died at 10:07 am. God told me he was gone. I love you Paul Emile Cardinal Johnson.