How did I?

How did I move on

I have no idea

You were here one day

& the next you were gone

Where did you go?

Why did you leave?

Cancer took your body

It ravaged your soul

Right before you left

I kissed you goodbye

I said I love you Paul

You said you would've married me

All I am left with are

the memories of you

I hold them dearly

inside of me

You say no regrets

see you on the other side

16 hrs later

You were gone

Not a day goes by

that I don't think about you

I dream of you

the what could've beens

They keep me going

so I don't join you

I am glad you accepted Jesus

Because I get to see you again

My time on earth

is just that

like a prisoner in jail

waiting for the lock to give way

One day soon

I will be with you again

We will walk those clouds

holding hands forever, amen

I can't wait for that day

to see you again

as you welcome me home

to spend eternity with you

I love you Paul

I don't know if I will marry again

If I ever get the chance

I hope he is like you

I miss your smile

I hear your laugh

I smell your shampoo

& taste your cigarettes

You are forever in my heart

Always in my mind

You will never leave my memory

for as long as we're apart

I wish cancer would have died

& left you alone

Instead of leaving you in bed

& me crying by your side

Drip, drip of the excess water

Landing on the floor

Coming from your body

As it tore you apart

Your body swelled

Stretched as far as it could be

What a way to die

I just looked in your eye

I kissed you goodbye

I said my farewell

Felt my heart lurch

When you died while I was at Church

I can't wait to hold you

I look forward to that day

When you open those gates

& say HEY!

Just like you did that one day

When I met you

Standing in a towel

Glistening as wet as could be

Can I borrow a cup of sugar

Your eyes send me a shiver

A smile a smirk

Omg your hot I felt like a jerk

You climbed out of the shower

To open the door what a surprise it was

To see a man like you

Dripping water on the floor

My sweet memories

I will not let go of

Because they are all I have

Of my one true Love!

Paul swollen from Cancer, celebrating his last trip in Cuba with family.. This was July 2008. He passed Oct 12th 2008

Author's Note

Paul was 40 in March of 2008. He was diagnosed with tonsil cancer in Jan 2008. Had them removed & when he was tested again after it spread to his lungs, brain, throat, glands & esophagus. He passed away on Thanksgiving Day Oct 12th 2008 at 10:07 am while I was Church. at 10:07 I was in my seat & God said he was gone, I said no he isn't. During the service I fought God's words to me & his parents tried to call the church to let me know but the got the machine & when the Pastors heard the message after service they cam to tell me he passed at 10:07 & I said Noooooooo & went to sit down but fell off the chair onto floor in a puddle of mess. I was carted off to office & held while I bawled. I lost my one true love that day. He said to me if I wasn't dying, I would marry you. I said it's ok. He said no regrets. I will see you on the other side. I said I will see you on the other side & we can be together forever now that you accepted Jesus an hour ago into your heart. He said Jesus.... I love Jesus. I will be in heaven soon.

Reviews

[Im His Daughter]

I miss him alot.. Thank You Coyote..

[Coyote Poetry]

A very sad poem. Thank you for the photos and the story. Good people who touched our life are never forgotten. Thank you for sharing the story of the amazing man.
Coyote