Short Story 1-My sisters death

I hear her breath, deep and heavy. A tear of fear and sadness rolls down my face. She died two years ago. I know it's her. The distinct sound and smell. Where is she? "I know you're here Eleanor! I'm not scared of you! I didn't want to, but you left me no other choice! You smothered me! You touched me! You kissed me! You thrust your fingers into me, and made me do the same to you! It wasn't right! I wasn't ever safe! Sisters aren't supposed to do that! I needed you gone!" I turn and see my parents wide eyed, jaws on the floor. They know the truth now. I take a deep breath in and cry, it was my mom's breath, not my sister's...

Author's Note

I would love opinions on everything accept for grammar. Criticism and praise welcomed.

Reviews

[alf]

Hi Annabelle. I so loved the concept of your story. I only have one small suggestion for you think over. Start a new paragraph from . . . 'I know you're here Eleanor! that gives the reader's mind time to adapt from prose to speech. And another new paragraph from I turn and see my parent. Same reason, in reverse.
Your writing is charged with emotion, your word choices are excellent and match the simply portrayed horror of abuse. truly a good read, alf