An Apology Letter To My LOVING SELF From My GULITY SELF

Because you are never too old to seek an apology from yourself...

Dear Loving Self,

You have been with me from past eighteen years and what reward did I give you?

Called you worthless, ugly and trash.

For now, as I have understood you, I wanna apologize you.

So here it goes;     

Dear HEAD, I’m sorry for banging you so hard at the tough wall,

Dear MIND, I’m sorry for filling you with bad thoughts,

Dear EYES, I’m sorry for comparing you with other bodies,

Dear EARS, I’m sorry for constantly reminding you that you are ugly,

Dear THROAT, I’m sorry for choking you till death,

Dear HEART, I’m sorry for hurting you always and reminding you time and again that you don’t deserve to be loved at all,

Dear LUNGS, I’m sorry for suffocating you with smoke,

Dear BELLY, I’m sorry for filling you with pills,

Dear WRISTS, I’m sorry for injecting needles into you ; bruising and cutting you open,

Dear THIGHS, I’m sorry for digging my fingernails into you and tearing the flesh apart,

Dear KNEES, I’m sorry for throwing you so ruthlessly at the cold bathroom floor,

Dear LEGS, I’m sorry for calling you with wrong names just because you weren’t skinny,

Dear SOUL, I’m sorry for calling you useless,

I’m sorry for just not realizing your worth.

You aren’t worthless,

You aren’t ugly,

You are beautiful in your own strange ways,

I’m sorry for fighting with you every-time,

I’m sorry for just not appreciating you for the way you are,

You have the power of the entire universe,

You can stay strong ; stronger than iron even when the world is against you,

Dear Self, I’m sorry yet I’m sorry again that this apology is some four years late,

Dear Self, I’ll try to love you back for you are the one who loved me even when I just couldn’t love myself.

Your Guilty Self.