The Curse Of The Royal Couple

A Spell put on two people by an evil Ex- girlfriend.

     Annette was a beautiful young lady.  She was always courteous to her parents and elders.  She was given the name Annette because it meant Grace, it fit her perfectly due to her beauty and personality. She was about to marry Basil, who would soon be king.  His name meant Royal.  Annette loved Basil not his riches.

     The wedding was going to be the biggest event of the century. People from all over were expected to attend.  There was one particular lady she wished wouldn't come, Maureen Silk.  She was considered evil from the time she was conceived.  Maureen meant bitter, which fit her perfectly.  At one time Basil and Maureen were planning to marry, but Basil called it off when he found out that she was only out to get his riches.  Her own family disowned her and cut her from the will due to her evil ways.  Annette had once heard that Maureen practiced witch craft, not that she believed in that kind of stuff.

     Warm hands circled her waist.  "How is my beautiful wife to be?" Basil's warm breath caressed her neck.

     She jumped.  "You scared me half to death."

     "Annette, what were you day dreaming about? Me?" He teased.

     She took a moment to compose herself.  "Maureen Silk."

     Basil looked away and then turned his attention back to Annette. "You're not going to want to hear this, then."

     Annette groaned, "What?"

     "She's in the parlor waiting to talk to both of us."

     Annette's face turned pale.  Her whole body trembled with fear.  "What does she want?" She cried.  "I don't trust her," she added in a whisper.

     Basil took her into his arms.  "She can't do anything to stop our wedding."

     They held hands as they entered the parlor.  Maureen's eyes grew cold and evil.  Annette would have sworn she saw sparks fly across the room.

     Maureen didn't give them time to speak.  "I'm here to give you one last chance to call off this wedding," she sneered with venom.

     "I've had enough!" Basil roared.

     "Just let us be," Annette pleaded.

     Maureen smiled, and then let out a hideous laugh.  "Not what I want to hear."

     We're getting married," Basil said.  "There's nothing you can do to stop us."

     Maureen's eyes grew darker.  She began to chant, "Dragons you will be, dragons you will become!"

     Annette felt strange.  Heat radiated deep inside her.  She turned to face Basil who seemed to be feeling at odds too.  The room began to spin wildly.  She felt air bound and then nothing.

     "What happen?"  Annette asked.  "Basil!" She yelled.  Her voice sounded funny to her own ears.

     She was no longer in the castle, but some far away land. Annette felt clumsy as she got to her feet.  Her body felt huge and heavy.  She walked to the edge of the near by river and peered in.  What she saw shocked her.  She was a ferocious dragon.  Hysterical screams shook her massive frame.  Basil tried to comfort her but it was hard to console her in this awkward body.

     The wind picked up viciously.  A voice sounded through the trees. "I warned you."

     "You're not going to get away with this!" Basil shouted to be heard over the wind.

     "I already have," Maureen laughed wickedly.  "Call off the wedding and I'll fix this."

     "Never!" Basil and Annette shouted.

     "Have it your way!" Maureen roared.

     The wind ceased and then there was silence.

     Annette began to cry.  "Maybe I should just call off the wedding."  She hated the pain that flashed through Basil's eyes.

     "You would just turn me over to that wicked evil witch?" He spat out. I thought our love meant something to you."  Basil was hurt and angry.  "Are is it you only want your body back?"  The question sounded stupid to his own ears.

     Annette whirled around.  Fire shot up in the sky.  Her anger was at it's boiling point too.  "I love you!" She screamed.  More fire shot from her mouth.  "I want both of us to get our bodies back," she cried.

     "I'm sorry babe, I want that too, but at least we're together," he whispered.

     "But we're dragons!" she exclaimed.

     "I rather be a dragon than not be with you at all," he said.

     Annette fell in love with him all over again.  "Me too," she smiled.

     The wind once again picked up.  "Had enough?"  Maureen asked.

     They could hear her, but not see her.  There was no doubt in their mind that Maureen could see them.  She was truly the wicked evil witch.

     "We're not calling off our wedding," Basil stated with finality in his voice.

     Annette screamed as she saw one headed dragons and two headed dragons swooping down from the sky.  None of them seemed to thrilled to see Annette and Basil except for one who took a liking to Annette.

     "Oh Basil, look he's in love with Annette," Maureen crooned.  "Now you can come be with me."

     "Never!" Basil and Annette shouted.

     "You will be sorry," she warned.  "I'm the only one who can break this curse.  Are you will be a----"  Maureen's voiced faded.

     "Are we will be what?" Basil asked.

     The wind became more violently.  Lightning flashed and struck a tree.  Annette screamed as she saw Basil's lifeless body under the huge trunk.  Once dead he had transformed back into his human body. Annette mourned for Basil.  She knew that she would remain a dragon until the day she died, that would be the only way the curse would be broken for her.

Author's Note

For the World 500 Group! We had to writ about dragons! tell me what you think!

Reviews

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

Good try..!!!

[Cherrie Palmer]

Cinderella eat your heart out great story

[William]

I'm sorry to sound harsh, or critical, but you did say "tell me what you think," and criticism can always help a story. Sadly, this isn't a very good story. Numerous grammatical, spelling, and story-flow errors seriously detract from the overall enjoyment, and the storyline itself is childish--and not in a good way. I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm pretty sure that anyone over the age of twelve could write this better--unless your first language is not English, I'm not sure you have much of an excuse.

Certain spelling mistakes, "praticed" instead of "practiced", "lightening" when there should be "lightning" and multiple "are"s in the place of "or" seriously detract from the story. "Truely" should be "truly." Luckily, mistakes like these are easily fixed.

You also have many grammatical errors, e.g., line 6: "People from all over was..." The correct verb form in this case is "were."
Also, in the first line, "She was always courtesy...", "courtesy" should be "courteous."
In line 9-10, "At one time Basil and Maureen was..." should be "At one time, Basil and Maureen were planning to marry..." because "Basil and Maureen" is a plural subject.

Some good news is that your dialogue is solidly believable--not forced or unrealistic. This is an area where a lot of great writers struggle, so you're already a step ahead there.

The very last paragraph doesn't make much sense at all. A clear description of what happened is never given, and while a story can always benefit by being left up to one's own interpretation, some definitiveness is needed.

As a first draft, this isn't that bad, but it needs a lot of editing to turn it into a really good story. However, in your bare bones work, I see a lot of potential. With work, practice, and perseverance, I think you can be a very good author.

[Star Wolf]

This is awesome, great job. I enjoyed reading your story. Not the ending I was expecting but I that just enhanced the enjoyment. It's nice to be surprised sometimes!

[Hannie]

love it! you have to write more! cant wait to read it all!
my rating 100,000,000,000,000,000

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good story. I like how you set-up the story. I like the myths and this story set of the tales of dragons and royal marriage with skill. Thank you for the excellent story. Too bad for the sad ending.
Coyote

[TJ]

What a tragic tale of romance but at the same time a strong tale of the perseverance of love

[Poetic Beauty]

This is sorrowful tale of dragons, witches and doomed love. The details are grand and this could be a longer story about Anette's journey alone in a transformed body.

[Tina Kline]

A very tragic story. It does pull the reader in. And it didn't have the ending I was expecting! Great job on this!

[Judy Ponceby]

What a tragic love story....well done. :)