The Unknown Force

Tanya's husband goes missing, then strange things begin to happen in her life!

     Tanya stood looking out the window at her Montana Ranch.  The window pane frosted over at the warmth of her breath.  She shivered at the coldness in the house.  No matter how high she turned the thermostat the house never got warm.  She hasn't been warm since Kyle her husband came up missing.  He left for work one morning and never returned home.

     

     She had hired Detective John Bowing to find her husband, but he only came up empty handed.  The detective had finally told her that just maybe her husband didn't want to be found.  Tanya had lost it and slapped the detective.  He had walked away shaking his head.  Tanya had a break down and spent over a month in a hospital.

 

     Once she was released from the hospital she had moved in with her parents, but Californa wasn't home without Kyle.  One night at the midnight hour while lying in bed unable to sleep, she began to think about Montana.  Her parents had thought she was crazy when she packed up and headed to Montana.

 

     Tanya hadn't known where in Montana she was heading until she saw the for sale sign to this ranch.  The whole time while she had been driving it was as if her car had taken on a life of its own.  Tanya had felt as if she had been pulled here by some unknown force.  She found herself wishing for the midnight hour, it was then she felt the presence of another human being.  The warmth of their lips would softly touch her in a feathery kiss.

 

     Most of the time Tanya was too busy to think about the odd events, the touch of soft lips, scent of a man's cologne.  The bedroom door that had been locked, but now opened.  The room had a rope hanging from the ceiling, which was strange.  She knew it all sounded crazy, but she wasn't unstable.

 

      That night she fell asleep in front of the fireplace.  She felt the warmth of another body touch her.  She wasn't afraid.  The presence felt stronger.  Tanya followed the feeling to the bedroom with the rope.  She knew somehow her questions could be answered in that room.   She began to search for what she didn't know, until she found the bundle of letters in an old cedar chest.

 

     The letters were from Kyle.  Tears filled her eyes as she read letter after letter.  Kyle had left her because he could not give her a baby.  He thought of himself a failure as a man and husband.  Tanya's shoulders shook with grief as she realized Kyle had hung himself in this room.  Kyle had brought her here, it was his presence she felt.

 

     Tanya pulled an old chair over to the rope.  she climbed up in the chair, slipped the noose around her neck.  She wasn't scared, but at peace.  As the clock chimed the midnight hour she jumped.

 

 

Author's Note

This story is for the World 500 group! I hope it's 500 words, I worked on it for three days! I had fun wih this project! tell me what you think!

Reviews

[InkSlinger]

In my opinion, one of your best.. Great write!!

[Raven Starhawk]

You weave a classic story and so much of this is professionally scribed.

[Krystal Nicole]

Very Beautifully written. I loved it. Great job!!

[Searching 4 Serenity]

You say you're not a great writer? I say say BULL! This was terrific.

[Linear]

Well worked story line, Sad though, I like happy endings, so rewrite another scenerio using the same theme, the same couple etc etc........I know you can do it :O]

[Jeff]

Gripping story!

[Valentine]

Whew,,,a bit unnerving at first..I think you should try a novel...seems you have a knack with words and a vivid imagination..Kathie

[Fenner]

Really good story, I hope you write some more of them! :)

[wett ink]

then what?! love it! the suspense was daunting and written so well and concise. held my interest; grabbed me from the start!

[Sara Mercury]

Aside from a capitalisation error in paragraph 4, and the next to the last sentence in paragraph 1 that isn't parallel to the other sentences in said paragraph, it's really very good! (I'd also justify the right margin, as it's a bit distracting for the reader, making it a little difficult for eyes to follow to the next line. Also, it's not necessary for two spaces between sentences anymore. In the book industry, they make you take those out before you can market your book; believe me! lol) I love the story in and of itself, though. Especially intriguing to me is the part about smell of the man's cologne. However, it is a little dark at the end. If I ever wrote something like this, I'd definitely have to refute it so that others wouldn't get the idea that you can commit suicide and be with the person you love or whoever went before you. It doesn't work that way. Not criticising your work at all; it's just a simple observation.