Emotion bleeds in colors

Life brings many shades of emotions!

     Sadness fades in a dark black hole

     Tearstain face crestfallen from despair

     And a heartbeat falls in silence 

     A hint of a smile drowns in the depth of misery

     

     Anger bleeds in shades of red

     Acid eyes become frozen with time

     Irritation plays on fabric of nerves

     Desperation tightens in invisible grips 

     Depression runs in waves of blue

     Clouds of weariness rain in timidity

     Sobs cry in unsettled days

     Endless void mirrors a lifeless soul

    

  

     Fear spills in livid grey

     Panic trembles in a desperate plea

     Hysteria breathes no relief

     Reality craves normalcy 

   

     Happiness soaks in yellow rays

     Wrapped in blissful sunshine

     Smile senses joy and laughter giggles

     Light breathes in as darkness fades

     

     Each day is a day for renewal

     Breathe in the freshness

     Lift off the stress

     As emotion bleeds in color

     

     

     

   

     

     

     

       

     

     

     

      

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

Author's Note

I wanted to try something new!
What was I thinking?
Hope it makes sense!

Reviews

[Patricia]

I think this is brilliant! poetic critique of art and very well done, no matter what some say, if you know who I mean, ;) Poetry is art not a novel, I thought it was just as moving as the movement in the artwork. you have a good eye for interpretation for art and putting into your own art.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Patricia, thank you! I was proud of this piece and then you know who put it down. then, I was sure about it!

[Patricia]

It’s a good read, but there are some grammar issues that you could work on when you have time other than that I really enjoyed it. Keep writing! And don’t feel bad about grammar, I make mistakes all the time but they do interrupt the flow of the read but we all have done that.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Patricia, I will look it over! Thank you!

[Patricia]

You're welcome sweetie :)

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

"Each day is a day for renewal
Breathe in the freshness"
It makes total sense & your colors & descriptions are so on-point for the emotions. Beautiful painting also. "Life brings many shades of emotions"-yes, so true. Beautifully written poem.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Thank you so much!

[An owl on the moon]

So beautiful painted in every shade and hue of emotion. You express so well the colder colors of pain and the warmer colors of love and life.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Thank you so much!

[Betty Hermelee]

I love the way you used colors to describe emotional states, black, red, blue, gray, and finally yellow as emergence of freedom….very imaginative, and for me as a painter, I can appreciate it so much.
Perfect imagery using these hues.
Best, Betty

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Thank you so much!

[JayG]

Well, you did ask for feedback, so you can blame yourself for this.

First, dump the pictures. It’s a poem. If the words don’t move the reader, the picture won’t change that.

That aside, you face two problems that tend to be invisible to the author, because you cheat. When you read, you have two things the reader lacks: Context and intent. And if the reader lacks context as they read the words, you lose them, because there is no second first-impression. That’s why we need to do our editing from the seat of the reader, who arrives as a blank slate.

A second thing I see in all your work is that at all times you’re talking TO the reader, explaining and reporting. But that’s a nonfiction approach to writing—the one we’re taught in our school years, as they ready us for the needs of employers. And since employers, in general, want us to write reports, papers, and letters, most of our assignments are for reports and essays, which are fact-based and author-centric, as is your writing. But the goal of nonfiction is to inform. Poetry’s goal is to move the reader, emotionally—to make them care and feel. We don’t tell the reader, “I cried at my mother’s funeral,” for example. Our goal is to make the reader weep. And that requires an emotion-based approach. As E. L. Doctorow put it: “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.”

Look at your opening as a reader must:

• Sadness fade in a dark black hole

What can a reader say in response to this line but “Huh? What dark hole? And why is it fading, not getting worse. And, ‘fade,’ not ‘fades?’ ”

• Tearstain face crestfallen from despair

I give up? What’s a “tearstain face?” And why is it not “tearstained?”

Basically, you’re talking about a situation for which the reader has no context. Who is it about, and what happened? Where are we? When are we? What’s the backstory that resulted in the words? You know. But the reader? Not a clue.

There’s a LOT to writing poetry that’s not obvious, but is worth looking into. Mary Oliver wrote a really good book on the subject: A Poetry Handbook. And the excerpt for Stephen Fry’s, The Ode Less Traveled, on Amazon has some things to say about the flow of language that every writer should know.

Another great resource is the Shmoop site. They have lots of great work there, analyzed to show why and how it worked so well. Just hit, Student, and then, use the button to the left of the mid-page search window to select Poetry.

So…I know this isn’t what you hoped to hear, but since it’s not a matter of talent or how well you write, and we’ll never address the problem we don’t see as being one, I thought you might want to know. And....you did ask.

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Thanks for your feedback!

[Relic]

Why do people love it then?

[JayG]

• Why do people love it then?

Why not? Is everyone the same. Must everyone fall into line?

You didn’t disagree with what I said about the use of pictures. You didn’t disagree with the idea that it’s better to invite the reader in, rather than talking to them. You just feel that if some people like the words I must praise it, too?

I’ve never been a follower. And, I assume that if we all express our views, the author is smart enough to make their own evaluation of what fits their situation.

Why? We learn nothing from those who agree with us.

[Miss Sharon]

Very well written with vivid imagery! Love these lines...( Each day is a day for renewal Breathe in the freshness Lift off the stress As emotion bleeds in color) A beautifully positive ending to this write. ~Sharon

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree my dear friend.
"Each day is a day for renewal
Breathe in the freshness
Lift off the stress
As emotion bleeds in color"
We do change color. I believe we can control. Years ago. I was told I was black in spirit and I had to re-shape my life and thoughts. Anger is dark and love is hazel-green, maybe ocean blue. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Thank you, my friend!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear poet.